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READ: #AskOloni The Long Distance Relationship
29. November 2015
Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt
Disclaimer: All dilemmas have been sent from real people and taken from www.simplyoloni.com/ask but answered in this feature in more detail.
The Long Distance Relationship
Hi, I have been with my partner for 6 years. It’s a long distance relationship of sorts. I live in London and he lives in Leeds but we have always managed to make it work. Sometimes he confides in me about how lonely he can get as we only get to see each other once a month fit a couple of days. I made a comment that if he needed he could sleep with other women. I said I didn’t want to know if he did. Recently he told me that he kissed… read more here
It’s not even a question… I’ve seen a lot of women at their whits end saying that they cook and clean etc for their partners etc and they are still unfaithful. I just want to say to these women stop chasing a lifestyle and chase a genuine connection with someone. There is no shame in not having a boyfriend and sometimes it is better to be alone, then do the most for someone who doesn’t care an ounce for you. Also there is no shame in letting a relationship go if you feel that things are not how they once were and I’ll tell you, no amount of cooking and cleaning is going to stop a man from cheating on you if he does not rate you and I know that from experience. I am currently having sex with someone who I found out to be in a 5 year long relationship. He and his girlfriend live together and I’m sure she cooks and cleans and does all the things a ‘good girlfriend’ should do. But that does stop him from buying me gifts, spending nights away from home because he is with me in hotel. He disrespects his girlfriend by telling me that her sex is noting like mine and they have to arrange sex every fortnight. Now, I personally had to remove myself from that situation but my point is, of corse this guy is a horrible man but I also wonder, does she not feel the change, does she not notice that for a whole month he was gone every weekend? Does she not notice that he’s always leaving the room to talk to me, or that when texts came to the phone he would shy away? It’s like don’t try to save a 5 year relationship to the detriment of yourself. Just love yourself more than you love anyone else ladies. x
29. November 2015
Uh thank you for sharing.
My ex messaged me wanting to get back together and saying he cares but I wasn’t convinced after a pretty heated argument before hand. We just seem to go round in circles each time so this time I made it clear it can’t happen. He was so sure I still had feelings and saying that I can’t forget him- kinda true. I was trying to put him off me because I wasn’t sure, he was adamant that if we both changed it could work. I was clever and said that will you be able to manage a relationship with work without excluding the other because in the past I have been pushed out. He said he’ll think about it and that was on Tuesday and he hasn’t got back to me yet. Was this just a way of messing with my head? Because he definitely has and I can’t stop thinking about him..
29. November 2015
I think he’s playing with your head, what he’s saying and what he’s texting isn’t matching up with any of his actions. It doesn’t even seem like something that would work if you were still arguing prior. This isn’t the type of relationship you return to. It just feels like he’s trying to see if he can get you where he once had you. Keep it moving
Hi oloni i know you get tons of messages lol i’ve been asking this question for so long but no response its just that im soo soo confused and i need you to help me theres this guy that i really like i mean he is perfect he is everything i want in a guy we’ve been talking for a while now like everyday and i recently told him how i feel but he didn’t really say anything actually he found me funny after telling him how i feel we still talk everyday nothing has really changed but he hasn’t brought the topic up again…he also gives me mixed signals sometimes so i really don’t know how he feels towards me..should i ask him if he likes me?? Am i wasting my time or should i give him some time and see how it goes?
29. November 2015
I’d like to know what you said when you told him how you felt. Nonetheless, if it’s something he’s sort of shrugged off followed by mixed signals, he’s not that into you
Hi Oloni, congrats on your award and your metro job. Here is my problem (I think I’ve posted before but don’t think it worked!) I have been with my other half for almost ten years. We have a family and are generally very happy. We have our ups and downs, like all relationships, but overall are happy and love each other. Recently, however, I have developed a bit of a silly crush on a guy at work. I would never act on it because I love my partner and wouldn’t risk that for anything, but I keep finding myself making silly fantasies in my head about this guy like I’m a teenager! I think the guy has a thing for me to but I’ve been avoiding him because I don’t want to get into any flirting. Problem is, the more I avoid him the more I think about him. Is this normal? What do I do?
29. November 2015
I answered a similar question last night on here. Creating fantasies in your head are perfectly natural, but it’s quite clear you’re starting to develop a crush on the guy at work and there will always be people out there other than your partner that you will find attractive, so maybe this could just be a phase that will soon fade away. Whatever you do, don’t act on the fantasies going through your head.
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