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You can’t force him to do anything, instead let him know how you feel about your sex lives. You can even suggest ideas that might make oral sex pleasurable to him also, such as flavoured oral lube. Please do not sit on his face without permission. I can completely understand why you must be livid right now. The guy you were messing with is pathetic and was clearly in it for the physical. The fact that he had a girlfriend all along is obviously going to be a hard pill to swallow. Should you tell her? No. It won’t do anything, as far as she’s concerned you’ll just be the ‘crazy’ girl who never got the ring, especially after that announcement. You mentioned that you were emotionally broken and felt guilty, so I’d suggest you speak to a therapist as seek professional help as it’s very common for some women to feel this way after a termination. As for him.. just be glad you weren’t the ‘Mrs’. If you’ve had a complicated relationship, you should really figure out why. Have you made her aware of your feelings? You need to do all of these things, because it feels like you’re jumping the gun a bit.
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