Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
My boyfriend likes talking dirty in bed which I like too but one thing I’m not comfortable with is him wanting me to call him the n-word. I’m not black so I really don’t want to but he won’t drop it and insists its his fantasy. How can I make him realise he can’t convince me to say it and just leave it alone?
17. December 2015
Have conversation outside of the sheets and let him know that it makes you very uncomfortable.
Hey oloni, I need your help basically I’m 23 and I’m in love with a married man…., it’s weird because he took my number when we was talking in church about something and I said I could help him out with it, we talk everyday ( well I message him and he replies even at late hours) and he helps me with my problems. I’ve grown to love him and I don’t know what to do as he has a wife and I’m not ready to steal anyone’s husband
17. December 2015
You need to start distancing yourself from him as you’re playing with fire. The only one here who is capable of getting burnt is you, not him. It’s good that you’re honest with your emotions, however you need to realise why it’s a bad idea if you keep communicating with him. If you truly want to solve this, you’ll delete his number (block) and move on.
Hi I often find that I can’t go for a round 2 of sex because i’m so swollen after round 1. I’ve tried everything from more foreplay, regular sex and lube but I aways find it too painful.I’ve spoken to a few of my friends and they have experienced the same thing. What do you recommend?
17. December 2015
It seems as though you’ve tried all the normal things possible. I have a feeling it could be vaginismus but I’d suggest you speak to your gp.
I went through my boyfriends phone (not my proudest moment) long story short I saw a text exchanged with his so called female friend asking her to “Netflix and chill” even his female friend said in the text “would your gf be ok with that” how do I approach my boyfriend about this situation? I think it’s completely unacceptable to say that to another female.
16. December 2015
Going through his phone wasn’t the greatest move, but it seems like you already knew deep down that he couldn’t be trusted. What you saw was very inappropriate and a good enough reason to leave the relationship. Speak to him and let him know what you’ve seen.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 18 months. Although the sex between me and my man is great, I have never had an orgasm, and he refuses to go down on me. I get so jealous when some of my girls are telling me about their climax stories and I can’t relate. Me and my boyfriend split up for a while and I got together with another guy (to be honest I think he was just a rebound as my heart was broken). When I did get together with the guy I experienced an orgasm with the guy for the very first time and it was so great. Ive got back with my boyfriend but I can’t help but still think about that experience. What do i do??
16. December 2015
There might be a chance that you’re not sexually compatible. First off, you need to tell him that you’re not achieving an oragsm each time you have sex. You can’t force him to give you oral pleasure but he may look for new ways to sexually satisfy you. I understand that it’s annoying, because you’re clearly reminiscing about the last time you had great sex with someone else … so try the things I mentioned and see how it goes. You could even introduce toys into the room if you wanted.
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