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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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So I met this guy on Twitter and he stays around my apartment we hung out Back to Back for a week and he was even my ride to work. We are very open with one another, and we had sex over the weekend. Today we were chatting and he mentioned another girl (that I know he has sexual relations with ) was at his house and he mentioned it. I’m not jealous but I don’t think I’m comfortable with that kind of honesty. 18. January 2016

If it bothers you, let him know that you would prefer if he never spoke to you about other women he is sleeping/slept with. You also need to distinguish what it is you’re doing with him, because unless you’re both exclusive he can do what he wants despite you not being comfortable with it.


What do I do about my boyfriend and his wandering eye? I’ve spoken to him about it before and he insists that he doesn’t mean anything by it. However, I can’t help but feel annoyed when we are out and I notice him watching another woman walk by. How do I bring this up again without sounded like a nag or a controlling girlfriend?oh and happy new year 🙂 18. January 2016

Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you automatically stop looking at the others or stop finding different people attractive. HOWEVER, it can be disrespectful towards your partner if this becomes very frequent and noticeable. This isn’t about being a nagging girlfriend, how would he feel if you kept twisting and bending your neck each time a fairly handsome guy walked past. Sit down and discuss.


Hi! So I’ve been with my partner for 6+ years. We have a healthy relationship/sex life apart from one thing. He never wants to explore sexually or discuss anything involved with sex. When it comes to sex I feel like I don’t know him at all. I know what he enjoys/what turns him on to a certain point but he just shuts down when I try talk to him about it. He was never like this when we were just seeing each other. I’m quite adventurous when it comes to it & I like freaky sex not plain vanilla but he’s stuck in his ways. What do I do?! xxxxxx 18. January 2016

Six years is a pretty long time, so you should both be comfortable with each other, I can see why you’re in a bit of a dilemma especially if he wasn’t like that before. Has anything happened between those years that could have lead to this? Ask him what’s changed and find out. If nothing has caused him to change go into detail of how you’d like to explore more when it comes to sex. You don’t  have to jump straight into safewords and bdsm leather whips, but something softer, new and exciting. Let your voice be heard and tell him you want something new and explain why.


Hi Oloni, so me and my boyfriend have known each other almost a year now. I’ve met his family, he has met mine. Things have been great and it’s been like I have met my soulmate, my match made in heaven… Until now. We argue almost every weekend, he says nasty things, shouts at me, then blames me for the WHOLE thing (it takes two to tango). When he is angry he says things like “I was lying when I said I am scared to lose you, you pressured me into saying it” and he is lately always trying to break up when solutions can be found. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to believe anymore and I don’t want him to think it’s ok to behave/speak like this, I am starting to become unhappy, what should I do? x 18. January 2016

Your happiness matters and always comes first. Many people say things in the heat of the moment they don’t really mean, while others true colours come to light. However, it’s not an excuse, in fact it’s a very nasty habit that you need to sit down and discuss when there’s peace.  While talking you should also ask him how he feels about the relationship, and whether he wants to stay. If it always seems like he’s about to break up, then you should find out if that’s what he truly wants. Yeah, solutions can be found, but if you’re not clicking the way you used to and you’re constantly arguing, a relationship which is only a year old can’t survive on constant solutions. There needs to be respect, an understanding, YOU need to be HAPPY and most of all you need to be sure that the relationship is what you BOTH want.


Hi Oloni. I hope you are well. I have been seeing a guy for 3 months now, although I have known him for 5 years. We have been through many things together in these past 3 months that we’ve been seeing each others as we both had a lot of issues going on in our own lives, and we have helped each other through it. He is good to me, he treats me right and I don’t doubt one bit how he feels about me. The only problem is that I am ready for a relationship now as I have been single for almost two years, and he is not as he currently has too much going on in his life (which I KNOW is true) to give me the commitment I am looking for. I am in love with him, and I cannot and do not want to settle for anyone else. What should I do? 18. January 2016

Hey love, I understand this is a tricky situation and since there’s already a foundation for the relationship you have together I can see why you’d like to be exclusive. However, not being in a relationship for a certain time doesn’t mean you need to jump into one. That’s not how these things work. Right now he’s explained his situation, which is being too busy to give you the commitment you want. You’re going to have to listen to him, unless you’d rather settle for a guy who’s very sometimish with you. Yes you love him, but sometimes  love isn’t enough it both people can’t give their all to a proper relationship. You need to distance yourself, because this could turn into a new episode and become a situationship. When a man says he isn’t ready for a relationship, believe him. Even if you got together could you really deal with the fact of how busy he was, with little time to spare? But as I said before..take a step back from this friendship, it’s only fair to yourself.


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