Hey,

What happened was the condom break scared him and reality hit him that you are definitely NOT the woman he wants a child with. He knew he had no intention of getting into a relationship with you but continued because that’s what sleazy guys do when they know someone else wants more. So see this condom break as this momentary eureka moment like “wow I almost became a father with someone I don’t plan to take seriously” and then as they do, he sent you a text telling you exactly what it is and as a lot of women do, you’re trying to fight it because you’re hurt. Instead of fighting it, take this as your LUCKY ESCAPE, you  dodged a bullet, had that condom break have never occurred he’d probably continue sleeping with you and playing with your feelings. So no, don’t contact him. If you need to vent write down how you feel but this is definitely someone you need to go cold turkey on and not message because he can’t give you what you want and let’s be real you’re low-key also upset at the fact that you didn’t see it coming and you probably wanted more, after all the way he handled it in the end is probably just one of many other reasons why you’re upset. So go cold turkey, block him, distract yourself, surround yourself with friends (even though you probs don’t want to) and eventually date again and remember how dope you are. Hope this helped.

-Ebi. A

Hey,

It seems to me that this is something you’re not willing to compromise on (rightly so) and I think that in turn means that you’re not as compatible as you initially thought you were, it’s okay, it happens. If I was you, I’d leave. One for the fact that he doesn’t seem to be respecting your view at all, he comes across as selfish (based on the reasons/excuses he keeps giving you) and because you cannot change him and you shouldn’t assume you can. It’s crazy that you feel like you won’t find someone you’re compatible with when the one you’re with is someone you’re not compatible with. You need to snap out of that mindset because there are over 7 billion people in this world and your future husband/bae is one of them. The truth is you want a child, you can try and pretend that you don’t want one but you’ll just be deceiving yourself. Choose your happiness over settling for less EVERY SINGLE TIME.

-Ebi. A

Hey lovely,

Always go with your gut instinct, especially when it’s always right. Also, don’t be frustrated, it’s also happened to me. It’s just what comes with the dating game and it’s important not to internalise these things. Sometimes it helps to switch up your approach, if you’re always going for the same type of guys, try something new. It might also help to talk to some of those guys who didn’t end up being boyfriends but are now your friends, if any, ask them what they thought about dating you and as long as you can handle brutal honesty, ask them to be honest. If you find yourself giving too much of yourself earlier on, (some guys get bored very quickly) try and pace yourself. But all in all the one that’s meant for you will come your way eventually…so don’t sweat it too much and most times he/she usually comes along when you’re simply being yourself (and sometimes when you’re done with guys entirely haha). But girl, there are too many single people in this world for you to start thinking you’re the odd one out.

-Ebi.A

Hey,

If that’s what you need for clarity (I don’t blame you given this current climate of wastemanism) I say you tell him to ask you out traditionally. If he feels no way to call you his girlfriend, I’m sure that shouldn’t be too hard for him.

-Ebi. A

Hey lovely,

People love to plan these things and that’s understandable but life doesn’t always work out like that. So all you need to do is take what he said and paint a picture of a life without him, assume that you won’t be together, if you were to keep the child (it may hurt but you need that truth). But as for your decision, don’t EVER make a decision to please him or keep him. Terminations come with their own hard consequences and so does keeping the child. Educate yourself on your options and talk to some trusted family members before you even discuss anything with him. But you NEED to make a decision for you. Don’t let anyone convince you into pleasing him, because even if you terminate that child, he can leave you, some don’t even turn up to the hospital and the funny thing about pregnancy is it reveals EXACTLY how someone feels about you, it’s one of those rude awakenings that momentarily scares most unserious guys into leaving you alone because they feel they’ve done enough harm. If he had no plans on ever being serious with you, he will go his own way whether or not you choose to keep the pregnancy and the fact that you’ve only just started seeing him means you really need to surround yourself with people who love you because unless he genuinely sees a future with you or takes responsibility for his actions this is not likely to go down smoothly. If you keep the child, you may not have the guy but you’ll have a child you will love and family and friends ready and willing to support you. Also try and speak to a counsellor about your options too, they should go through them with you and talk about the consequences of each option you have. But if you know in you heart you want to keep that child, keep that child by any means necessary, regret is mad, don’t make such a permanent decision if you know that is not what you want. Hope this helped. Good luck lovely.

-Ebi. A