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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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I’ve had this male friend for around 7 years. He’s always said he likes me and would drop any girl for me but, the physical attraction on my part isn’t there. But I know he’d treat me better than all these boys I catch feelings for. Should I overlook the physical attraction and just date him for him? Or not force it? 2. February 2016

Hey,

You can’t force anything but what you can do is see where things go. Sometimes physical attraction can come afterwards.  No harm in seeing where it goes since you do think he would make a good partner and then seeing whether or not you begin to find him attractive. This sort of thing happens when you’re trying to transition from a really dope friendship to a relationship, so just go with the flow and see where it goes and just know when to nip it in the bud.

-Ebi


VALENTINE’S SALE FOR RELATIONSHIP COACHING – ENDS SOON 1. February 2016

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READ: The ‘Who’s Your Hip Hop Celebrity Valentine?’ Quiz 31. January 2016

Hi oloni. I have been speaking to this guy for 5 months now. We haven’t had sex but have been intimate. Sometimes we have a great time together but other times he is really rude and makes me feel like I’m stupid. Recently we have had the ‘what are we’ conversation and he said he doesn’t know and just wants to go with the flow. Am I wrong for being angry and just wanting to call it all off? I feel like after 5 months we should know where this is going to go and if I am already doubting wanting to be with him then it should not be for me. I like him a lot but feel like it this became a relationship id be stressed out or feel a little unloved (had ex’s who treat me like a queen) thanks for the advice in advance 31. January 2016

Hey I agree with you 5 months is definitely enough time to know where the both of you are going. It seems like he may not want what you do, and if after 5 months he’s unsure, then it’s a red flag. When coaching women who have been in this position I’ve often advised them to leave, because before you know it this will turn into a year and become a lot harder for you to leave. Wise up hun and don’t get played.

-Oloni


I slept with my exs friend , it wasn’t planned it just happened . He had been of support to me since me and my ex ended. We definitely ain’t trying to get into a relationship with each other. We both just want casual Sex. I think that’s an OK idea because I do not want to increase my body count .. If my ex finds out he will be so hurt cause I know we both still have feelings for each other. However he’s got a girlfriend . I feel really bad, but I don’t feel I need to cut what I’m doing with he’s friend off 31. January 2016

It sounds like you’ve already got your mind made up, but sleeping with your ex’s friend is not always the best move. It just seems messy, and something which could spark off a whole lot of unnecessary drama. What’s happened has already happened however, but worrying over the number of men you’ve slept is not a reason to carry on having sex with the same person, especially if the position you’re in isn’t the greatest.

-Oloni


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