Hey girl,

You need to dead this one. He’s not serious. You’ll swiftly become the side if you’re not careful and when you get burnt he will say “I did tell you I had a girlfriend” and when you feel like snitching to his girlfriend, he would have already painted you out to be a lying demonic side and she will stay with him because she’s stupid in love. He wants to enjoy both of you, he’s simply being the demon that he is. Guys say all sorts of rubbish to get what they want and that includes saying “I have feelings for you”, yes it’s moist but that’s just reality, don’t ignore the signs. Lock him off, don’t bother explaining. move on and prosper. (Blocking him on everything might be your best option, 7 months is long and I can imagine you may feel invested, so go cold turkey, it works in time). Good luck.

-Ebi. A

Hey lovely,

Firstly you’re not alone, this happens a lot, so don’t be too hard on yourself but at the same time I’m going to have to keep it real. Yes you can sleep with someone for 4.5 years and still not love them, it’s important not to assume that just because you may not find it easy to separate sex and having a child for him from love, that he automatically has to be the same. The truth is there’s a difference between being comfortable/the usual and love. There are also different forms of love, he can have love for you or love you because you’re the mother of his child but that doesn’t mean he loves you in the sense that he ever sees a relationship with you, after all 4.5 years in and still no relationship? Had there not been a child involved would you spend 4.5 years chasing one man who has shown you time and time again that he doesn’t want to commit? The fact that you even identified it as “messy” suggests that you even know that it’s not a healthy or positive example for your child.

What you need to do is come to terms with the fact that he won’t commit to you and even if he does eventually maybe 10 years later when he has exhausted all his options and picked you because it’s “convenient”  just know you settled and you deserved better. The honest truth is even though he has said he doesn’t want to commit to anyone he might just mean he doesn’t want to commit to you which is often the case and that at any point he can find someone he is willing to commit too and make her your child’s stepmother in a flash, leaving you 7 years in unhappy and without that partner you desire. Eventually, when he finds someone he really cares about all this “cutting off relationships for each other stuff” will end and he will do whatever he needs to do to keep that relationship which means no more sleeping with you.

You need to find a way of keeping these facts at the forefront of your mind and understand that you can either continue ruining potentially happy relationships for a guy who will never commit or learn to be firm and choose your happiness for once. You need to allow yourself to experience guys that treat you how you want to be treated. Talk to your friends and tell them you want to go out more, you don’t even have to date again just meet guys so YOU KNOW FOR SURE what’s out there and that you’re the shxt and you’ve still got it. Then when you’re ready, date again (only guy’s who know what they want, stay away from confused boys). Other practical things you can do is have friends around when he comes to collect your child and make sure it’s rarely a late night thing or make sure you have to meet people or have things to do soon after he comes round so that you don’t have any incentive to sleep with him. Lastly, stop ignoring the decent guy hollering at you even if he becomes a friend. Good luck.

-Ebi.A

Ann Summers are at it again, and not with a brilliant sex toy this time. Now they’ve brought us an amazing dating Rabbit app! It makes a lot of sense, did you know that 81% of those between 18-34 start a relationship through dating apps? And get this, the average user spends up to 3 hours a day scrolling through… read more HERE

There’s this stupid sex myth that when you lose your virginity, your bed will look like a crime scene or you won’t be able to walk for days. It’s all nonsense. Everyone has different experiences when they lose their virginity. You could have probably felt more relaxed, the foreplay could have been better in comparison to last time. . there are numerous things. What you both should do is jump on google and research. You’ll see several other people with similar experiences.

Having sex with a dude then sleeping with his friend whilst he’s asleep? Girl just let this ship sail.  It’s a messy position especially if they’re friends now lol – Unless you wanted something really serious to come from this, tick it off your bucket list and don’t worry about it.