Hey,

If that’s what you need for clarity (I don’t blame you given this current climate of wastemanism) I say you tell him to ask you out traditionally. If he feels no way to call you his girlfriend, I’m sure that shouldn’t be too hard for him.

-Ebi. A

Hey lovely,

People love to plan these things and that’s understandable but life doesn’t always work out like that. So all you need to do is take what he said and paint a picture of a life without him, assume that you won’t be together, if you were to keep the child (it may hurt but you need that truth). But as for your decision, don’t EVER make a decision to please him or keep him. Terminations come with their own hard consequences and so does keeping the child. Educate yourself on your options and talk to some trusted family members before you even discuss anything with him. But you NEED to make a decision for you. Don’t let anyone convince you into pleasing him, because even if you terminate that child, he can leave you, some don’t even turn up to the hospital and the funny thing about pregnancy is it reveals EXACTLY how someone feels about you, it’s one of those rude awakenings that momentarily scares most unserious guys into leaving you alone because they feel they’ve done enough harm. If he had no plans on ever being serious with you, he will go his own way whether or not you choose to keep the pregnancy and the fact that you’ve only just started seeing him means you really need to surround yourself with people who love you because unless he genuinely sees a future with you or takes responsibility for his actions this is not likely to go down smoothly. If you keep the child, you may not have the guy but you’ll have a child you will love and family and friends ready and willing to support you. Also try and speak to a counsellor about your options too, they should go through them with you and talk about the consequences of each option you have. But if you know in you heart you want to keep that child, keep that child by any means necessary, regret is mad, don’t make such a permanent decision if you know that is not what you want. Hope this helped. Good luck lovely.

-Ebi. A

Hey love,

Write in again and provide more detail because I won’t be able to tell you whether I think he is manipulating you from what you’ve provided. But stay safe. Manipulation isn’t a joke.

Ebi. A

Heyyy,

It’s all about what you value more. Sometimes there are things we’re just not willing to compromise on and you need to ask yourself honestly whether this is one of them. No-one is perfect but you owe it to yourself to nip something that you know for sure probably won’t work out in the long-term earlier on to avoid unnecessary stress. Don’t force anything. The being supported by her parents thing isn’t bad because she’s 21, she’s still young. But the no ambition aspect of things is something you need to think long and hard about and you must think about it without convincing yourself that you can change her in any way. You do need to take into consideration though that having no ambition is different to being lost/unsure about where/who she wants to be in life which is common for most young people. So maybe observe her a little bit more, pick her brains and try and see whether her apparent content with where she is might just be her way of coping with being/feeling lost, we all act way more content with life than we really are. Has she given you any signs that she wants to change that aspect of her life? If not it’s only fair that you leave her to someone who will accept her for who she is now and right now you’re having second thoughts on whether or not you can do that. Hope this helped.

-Ebi. A

Hey girl,

What you do is leave him alone. Let him prosper and find your own man or address the reasons why you get bored easily, fix those issues and you can prosper too.

-Ebi. A