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Hi oloni I met this boy online a year ago and we clicked straight away, things were good and I was falling in love with him however he has a really bad temper and starts arguments all the time about my male friends the clothes I wear etc. He tells me he loves me and I thinks he does but we still haven’t met bc he lives in Bristol and I live in Leeds. I really don’t know if I should keep talking To him he says really horrible things when we fight can you even love someone you’ve never physically met? And is it worth me putting up a fight in order to save “us” considering this is not an actual relationship? Ive become too attached to him and the thought of losing him terrifies me. What should I do 🙁 26. April 2016

Hey,

Leave him. It’s been a year and you’re in love with a guy that lives in the same UK you live in, that you haven’t met, who has a scary habit of policing everything concerning your life and speaks to you horribly and has a bad temper, so clearly has anger management problems? Girl, you need to let this one go, as hurt as you may be, leave this one. You can’t lose what you didn’t have in the first place. Work on yourself and healing and eventually find someone who respects you. Don’t ever shortchange yourself in this life. A few practical steps, block him on everything, work on your passions, surround yourself with encouraging friends, a bit of retail therapy doesn’t hurt and so on.

 

Ebi

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Hi Oloni and Ebi. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. The problem is he only calls me on Whatsapp call. But he calls other people (not Whatsapp) but when it come to me he just texts on Whatsapp and calls me with Whatsapp. Should I be bothered by this? 26. April 2016

Hey,

Thats weird. Maybe delete your whatsapp and go from there. It may not be anything to worry about, haven’t heard of that before, you could just have trust issues or be slightly insecure. But if it’s making you feel uncomfortable, archive/email yourself all your important messages, then delete. See what happens then. This is assuming you’ve already had a conversation with him explaining that it’s making you feel uncomfortable, if not then have that conversation first and see what he says.

 

Ebi


Dear oloni Basically I have been dating my gf for 3years now all is gd I’m 25 she’s 24 but lately she’s been telling me she wants to have a bby and I’m not ready for that right now my career is the most important thing to me right now but I recently got transferred from work to Leicester aand met someone else . But my gf and I have been having issues for over a year now she’s Jamaican I’m Ghananian she still not adapting to my culture and she’s very possessive . Another ting is our sex life isn’t the greatest she wouldn’t ride or nothin she just wna lay down and me come on top same sex positrons for the past 3 years. How do I break things up with her pls advice oloni 26. April 2016

Hey,

Damn, under no circumstance should you bring a baby into this situation honestly. How do you break it off with her? You respectfully tell her how you feel, I would say you could even tell her that you have found someone else. Give her all the information she needs. All hope of getting back with you needs to be eliminated, so you can’t afford to sugarcoat anything because that is what keeps people hung up on their exes, discovering new information along the way can disrupt her healing so if you care to a degree, just keep it all the way real with her, be sensitive but do not sugarcoat the truth. Give her space and do not keep popping back in and out of her life. Leave her to go through the motions, if she reaches out, entertain it within reason but do not give her hope if you know you will not get back with her, stay consistent.

 

Ebi


Hi Oloni, I’ve been single for a couple of years now and have decided to remain celibate till marriage. I’be always wanted to know how many dates in do you tell a guy? 26. April 2016

Hey girlllll,

Firstly, good luck on your celibacy journey :), secondly whenever you feel like it, don’t panic, just let it flow. It really depends on the guy and what is brought up in conversation, but if you want to save yourself time and invested feelings, maybe let them know as soon as…you can mention it in passing, maybe ask “what do you think of celibacy and waiting until marriage?” and see where it goes from there, use that as a way to make it clear where you stand. Also let me be real with you, some guys will hear that and think you’re “just saying that” and may not take you seriously, especially if they have encountered girls who claimed to be celibate but weren’t really about that life, so not everyone who says they don’t mind has the best intentions, so be wary and put the necessary boundaries in place from early to avoid breaking your commitment to celibacy. Dating wise though I would suggest you go for guys that have made it clear that they’re down for celibacy/just share the same beliefs as you in general, maybe if you follow them online or meet them in certain settings where celibacy is common amongst those within those communities you will feel less anxious about bringing it up and it will be assumed that you’re kinda on the same page from the jump (doesn’t mean it’s always the case though so again be wary). Hope this helped.

 

Ebi


Can I ask for your opinion, if you in a relationship and you still pree someone that you broke up with, are you truly over them? 26. April 2016

Hey lovely,

It’s simple. No you are not. You may not be in love with them, but you care in some capacity. What capacity? Only you will know the answer to that.

Ebi


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