Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now, but recently his sex drive has completely vanished. I know he’s coming off anti depressants which could impact him, but we both used to have very high sex drives and now I’m lucky if we have sex once a month. I’m trying to be supportive but I feel so rejected and upset, every time I try I just get pushed away. Sex is a big deal for me, as I need intimacy, I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m tired of rolling over in bed every night silently crying myself to sleep because he’s just pushed me off and gone to bed. I’ve never felt so rejected hurt and disconnected, what do I do?
6. September 2015
He’s clearly going through some things and you either need to talk to him about it, or ask yourself if you can stay in the relationship. It must be difficult for him, so I would suggest my first option which is talking to him about it. Try to be even more supportive, but communicate what you’ve been feeling emotionally. I’m almost positive he’s aware, but when you sit down and discuss things and voice it out loud it can do so much. Ask him to open up to you, so you get a sense of where his head and emotions are. I hope things work out.
Hey Oloni, If I get a girl’s number, then the convo would has usually gone well and there may be a connection or a few laughs, but I find it difficult sometimes to maintain lively or interesting convos when texting which kinds of kill it, even though I’m sure in person it will be fine. Do you have any tips of keeping things interesting when texting ?
6. September 2015
Yes pick up the phone first! However, I believe what makes texting enjoyable is the many ways you can be fun with it. Sharing funny memes for example in a personal fav off mine. General chit chat about each others day, or something random that happened. Discussing something you heard in the news/showbiz. ..but yes pick up the phone.
Hey Oloni. Hope all is well! So I’ve been seeing their girl for a few months. I really like her, but I’m just not in the mood to have sex with her. I usually have a high sex drive, but with the girl who I love spending time with, I just can’t get in the mood. I should mention I am actually really attracted to her. She’s communicated with me a few times to say she wants more sex. But I’m struggling…. Help, lesbian in need.
6. September 2015
Having a high libido can decrease from time to time. You might just need to get into the mood, what turns you both on? Do that. Plan an evening, plan some fun games, throw in some foreplay and I promise, you’ll have an amazing evening.
Hi oloni I always see your tweets and I have been speaking to a guy since feb he even moved away and we still kept in contact and he’s back now he just randomly stopped talking to me like I know he’s never been in a relationship but I feel like I deserve a conversation before he stopped speaking to me and he’s done this before when he first moved away and I’ve told him not try pull that again and I feel silly now for even trusting him again and we’ve never slept together, should I just forget about him and move on or ?
6. September 2015
Let this one go.
Hey, I started getting into relationships at a young age, well I was just having fun buts since I turned 19 I have been looking forward to meeting the right man, for three years now I haven’t met him yet, I know am still young am just 21, people say am very pretty and nice but any guy I meet never stays, once they see I like them and they have sex with me they go away, they stop being the nice guys I fall for, and it makes me so broken. Recently one of my exs came back to me, once he got what me wanted and saw I loved him he left me and went back with another girl that’s his ex, I left so bad and it reduced my self esteem, I felt like I wasn’t worth it or never good enough to be kept.i was so depressed that I even got into a big fight with my ex cause he came back just to useand ran off with another woman
6. September 2015
If this is something that’s quite frequent in your love life. Analyse what you’re doing and learn. If a guy you’re sleeping with leaves after you get intimate, then hold back a little till you feel the feelings are mutual. And I’m not talking about the honey moon stages of when you’re dating a guy for the first couple of months. Get to know him more. Try to find out about his character, so you know what type of person you’re allowing into your space. The truth is a lot of guys are after sex and will take it if it’s handed on a plate. It seems like you may be using sex in hopes of keep a guy around. You must always work on yourself and never allow a guy to lower your self esteem.
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