Hey,

Firstly a lot of guys write in so no it’s not weird lmao. I think you’re confused and I think you really need to take some time out and weigh up your options, so if you ask me, no relationship for you right now haha. I think by the way in which you described them both you gave pro’s and con’s for both *side eye to the body and face comparisons* lool, but what you need to do is genuinely ask yourself does Toni’s temper worry you, don’t assume you can handle it, ask yourself honestly because she can motivate you so much but can RUIN anything you’ve built for yourself with that temper. I’m not saying reserved girls are the best what I’m saying is that it’s important that your girl knows how to carry herself in public, knows how to communicate appropriately and it’s important she represents you well, same way it’s important you represent her well. There’s a lot to lose when someone has limited control of their emotions. I don’t think you should stay with your ex just for the fact that you took her virginity because she may be better off without you (it happens) but I do think that if you do have feelings for her and you want to work  on the things that you claim are not same anymore, then do it. That’s my opinion based on the limited info you provided but please do think carefully about it and weigh up more of these factors: values each hold/character/behaviour things like that….face and body won’t save your relationship when shxt hits the fan.

-Ebi.A

Hey,

The right man for you will understand that that’s simply an important question to ask when working your way into a relationship. You technically can’t “ruin” something by simply wanting clarity. A guy who sees you asking a simple question on his views on relationships and you stating your views on relationships as “ruining” the moment isn’t a guy that planned to take you seriously in the first place and being hesitant to ask the necessary questions is EXACTLY how people end up in situationships (and I’m sure you know all too well that in situationships the guy are almost always VERY vocal as to what they want but we ladies are sitting there afraid to offend). Don’t water down your points, say it as it is and hope that he respects it, if he doesn’t then he’s not the one for you. Something like “I want to know whether or not you’re getting to know me with the hopes of eventually pursuing a relationship with me or you have no plans to get in one” and don’t accept ‘I just want to see where things go” as a valid answer. Make it clear that you want to know exactly what he is seeking.

-Ebi.A

Hey,

When you’re healing you have to do what’s best for you and that may include distancing yourself from people you never thought you’d distance yourself from and finding comfort in other people. It’s usually during these times that you see who your real friends are and where their loyalty lies. So I’d advise you to distance yourself and focus on your healing and surround yourself with friends you can count on. Don’t let your friend attempt to make you feel comfortable with something you’re not comfortable with and tbh I don’t believe you need to tell her that that is unacceptable behaviour, she’s probably not daft. So just focus on getting better and being a better you. Practical advice: Throw yourself into your passions, go out with or talk more with the friends that you can count on, if you don’t have them, make those friends, don’t isolate yourself, you’ll get lost in your thoughts and take your time.

-Ebi.A

Hey,

I honestly think he’s not that interested in you. The fact that we’re now at the end of January and you have no idea whether he likes you is a HUGE red flag. Stop making excuses for his behaviour, he probably isn’t afraid of the age difference, if he was he wouldn’t have gone there in the first place. Let this one go. Because  this thing he calls “chilling” is a situationship and those never end well. You’re young don’t let someone hold you back from prospering please and when if he eventually ever feels ready to be in a relationship he will come to you and make that clear. But for now it’s time to duck out and you do that by wearing less and going out more. I joke, you do that by distancing yourself and focusing on other things.

-Ebi. A

Hey,

Win him back for what? I don’t understand how that became your role. I can understand expecting mutual effort at this point but as for him expecting you to fight for him as if he didn’t offend you is quite absurd. Tell him where you’re at on this situation and tell him you’re struggling to trust him, see what he says and how you believe he needs to respect your feelings/concerns…start there, if he’s still being disrespectful then your only other option is to move forward and just maintain a professional work relationship with him and the girl.

-Ebi. A