Hey,

If indeed he was talking about his ex and expresses no remorse for saying such a thing, or tells you he stands by his feelings towards his ex, then I do not think you’re wrong. At the end of the day, that’s unacceptable and rude and if you can’t look past it, do what you’ve got to do girl.

Ebi

Hey,

At any moment this can blow up in your face because if the guy you’re dating seriously is not okay with that or catches wind of your movements you can easily not get into that serious relationship you’re hoping for . So set some boundaries with the guy you’re dating, after you do so, you’ll be able to answer that question.

Ebi

Hey lovely,

You just get over it girl, as harsh as that may sound, you’re finally in a happy space with a guy you clearly like, do not let this awkwardness or that guy stop you from enjoying your time with your guy. Practical steps: try and see it as more of a funny thing. Have you told the old flame about this guy? if he is perfectly calm with the situation then you really have nothing to worry about. Whenever you bump into him, if you do, just be civil and keep it moving, at best, hi and bye, you’re awkwardness can draw more unwanted attention to the situation especially if you’re around people who know how you are when you’re comfortable, so try your best to be calm. I’m an awkward person too btw, so I’m not trying to be insensitive I just feel like your awkwardness shouldn’t ruin a good thing, sometimes you just have to firm these things for the sake of your happiness. If the other guy is disrespectful to you or your new relationship in anyway check him and keep it moving. Hope this helped & thank you on behalf of Oloni for your kind words 🙂

Ebi

Hey,

I find it weird that you used the word financially secure with regards to what you want financially, which are the finer things, nice expensive cars and so on when in reality financially secure sounds m0re like what your boyfriend is. Financially secure doesn’t equal flashy stuff. At no point did your boyfriend state that he wouldn’t provide and wouldn’t meet the needs of the family (which is what being financially secure means). Your issue here is whether or not he will meet your wants. Your needs match but your wants differ and if his inability to meet your wants is something you cannot compromise on, then you’re incompatible in that area of things, and depending on how important that is to you, you can either let go of this relationship or push for him to at the very least compromise. I honestly think you need to consider the fact that you’ve made it clear that your boyfriend is great in every other aspect but this and you will not find a “perfect” man. So someone else may be perfect in the area your boyfriend lacks in but may also lack in the areas your boyfriend doesn’t. So really ask yourself how important these things are for you. Furthermore, why can’t you work towards affording all these things yourself without his assistance if they mean so much to you? That would also be a compromise? No? Because from what you’ve said he tries to support you financially where he can and he’s your boyfriend not even your husband yet.  But yeh, he probably won’t change in marriage, that’s just the honest truth, things like this are just habits and deeply ingrained ways of life, so you need to really figure out how important this is to you and act accordingly.  Hope this helped.

Ebi

Hey lovely,

It’s less complicated than you think it is. Stop having sex, work on everything else instead and then you’ll get some clarity, with things like this you need to have some self-discipline, you can’t complain about being confused and do nothing about it, simply eliminate the source of confusion. Stop sleeping with each other and see what else you like about him. Hope this helped.

Ebi A