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Sorry, I fell asleep
Hi Oloni, I’ve been talking to this boy for a couple of months now. We started off as just friends but things got serious once I lost my v to him. As expected, I ended up catching feelings and that’s when things changed. I think he knew that things were getting serious and everyday just turned into an argument. I’m not sure if he’s seeing other people as we haven’t had the “what are we” conversation yet and I don’t even know how to bring it up. I’m not sure how to go forward from this or to even let go, I can’t lie the only thing that makes me want to stay is the fact that this is the guy I lost my v to. However his behaviour doesn’t portray someone that’s ready for a relationship. Where do I go from here?
2. June 2016
Hey dear, you seem quite young and somewhat new to the game in terms of dating and relationships. If he’s not being upfront about his intentions then that’s unfair, the mature approach would be for him to simply state how he feels. I know you lost your virginity to him, so there’s an emotional connection that has been formed, but hun losing you virginity to a guy does not mean you will avoid heartache. If his actions are showing you that he’s not serious, give yourself some space from him and BELIEVE him.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I have a dilemma. A big one. I’ve given up on finding love and it breaks my heart. I write this crying. Let me get into why. I have a STD (the worse one that’s still stigmatised heavily) I’m so ashamed I can’t even say it. Though it’s only 3 letters. Anyways. It was passed onto me by a man who is now in prison. I was 13. I’m much much older now. But even since I’ve found intimacy difficult. I had a bf for a year. We didn’t do anything because I was afraid. But I broke it off before saying why as he wanted marriage. But I knew that would change when he found out I was basically damaged goods. I then got into a relationship for 4 months with another guy and told him the truth as I have fallen so hard for him. He dumped me the next day. He said if it wasn’t for that we’d still be together. Understandable in the end. But his rejection has scared me for life. I’ve tried specialised dating websites and it hasn’t worked. I’ve given up. People say I’m bubbly, intelligent and pretty. But I know that’s not enough for a relationship. And I feel undesirable. What would be your advice to me. A woman looking for love but given up.
2. June 2016
Email me, I’d rather speak to you if possible asap. simplyoloni@gmail.com
Hi oloni. My friend is clearly attracted to my boyfriend and was always asking for his pictures and joking about threesomes when we were dating however now when she’s around him at parties for example she flirts, asks about our sex life and other private things about him. he’s thinks she’s pathetic and not a good friend so he doesn’t entertain it but I know she’s lonely and maybe doesn’t want my bf per-say maybe just someone to be with? But how do I tell her subtly to back off because it’s embarrassing and hoeish OR should I let my boyfriend whose dying to do it tell her ? Thank you
2. June 2016
You friend sounds annoying and since she’s your mate it’s better if it comes from you. Explain that although you understand she might be messing around, you find her jokes inappropriate and it makes you and your partner uncomfortable. Her reasoning behind it, is irrelevant.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’m 22 years old and I’ve been battling with yeast infection since my secondary schools days. I’ve practically tried all sorts of drugs, ointments, oil and herbs but nothing seems to be working. Also I noticed that I’m really dry, I don’t lubricate as I should. I need help and suggestions please. Thanks
2. June 2016
Hey love you need to see a sexual health nurse and if you’ve been before, keep going back till your problem is resolved. I would however suggest you don’t use any type of products on your lower half till your infection is sorted out.
Oloni
Hi oloni! This has been a very tough year for me. I’m a uni student and I’m in love with a famous UK grime rapper. I met him last year at a party thru some friends and we got along so well, I was surprised to find out that he’s so humble despite his fame and whatnot. We started fucking however he told me I couldn’t be his girlfriend cus he had to ‘protect’ his career. Basically I’ve had 2 abortions in the duration of 12 months. I’ve tried everything to get him to commit but he keeps telling me stories about his career. I love him but I don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve given all I can, I’m tired of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I can destroy his career but I love him still. pls help
2. June 2016
Hey love, I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through. This has definitely been a hard year for you and I can’t imagine how you feel or what you’re going through. I know you must be hurt and upset with how this relationship is going, especially when it’s something you really want, but hun when a guys says he doesn’t want to commit, you have to move on. It’s easier said than done, especially if you’ve invested so much of yourself, but there isn’t any other way around it. This relationship that you both have has turned into a codependent one and it’s extremely unhealthy. You deserve so much more.
I think speaking to a councillor or a therapist might be something you should consider, especially due to the terminations you mentioned. See a GP or perhaps a nurse who can help and refer you to one suitable. Don’t do anything like ruin his life.. as this will change nothing. You need to be around friends and family who love you, you need to keep yourself busy, you have to detach yourself away from him as the longer you stay the harder it will become for you to leave. Also, most importantly give yourself time to heal.
Oloni
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