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Dating Tips For The Introverted Woman

Introverts are a complex people. They are usually extremely innovative, they just really really value their alone time. People often associate introversion with shyness and reclusiveness but psychologically, there is no link. They prefer their solitude as opposed to extroverts who thrive off social interaction, not to say that introverts are incapable of sincerely good conversations. They can hold a conversation as good as the next person, they just usually choose not to. Being an introvert or extrovert is a personality trait and does not define everything about a person. We are elaborate beings and multidimensional, a part of us isn’t all of us. Introverts have needs just like everyone else, so what about when it comes to dating? How does someone who isn’t exactly “out there” go about being so? For people that easily find others tiring it can be very hard to even start. Like with most things, slowly but surely. You see the world differently so it won’t be easy but here are a few dating tips that you can keep in mind.

When we think dates, small talk instantly comes to mind and that’s something that introverts are not particularly fond of, preferring much more profound topics which may come across as intrusive on a first date. These days it seems like everyone is complaining about shitty, meaningless conversations only to go and do exactly that when it comes to something like dating for an introvert this could definitely be a bonus, your date will not lack substance and that’s good in any situation.

Places where you are comfortable alone may be a good place to start, starting off a conversation (you don’t even have to do the small talk) with someone in a coffee shop or park maybe to test the waters. Just unexpectedly ‘hitting it off’ and meeting someone can often be unlikely for an introvert which can put them in this place of complete oblivion. Embrace the digital world we live in and you might not even regret it. Start there because you’re in control and can talk as much or as little as you want. Be open to the small talk behind the screen even if you are rolling your eyes most the times, just make you sure you respond in your usual, perspicacious way and if their responses do not appeal to you, you are never obliged to reply and that’s the beauty of the web. You will find someone who you believe is worthy of your time and their responses will be as sagacious, refreshing and maybe even witty as yours and that’s when you may even agree to meet but don’t feel you have to because you don’t. When you are certain this person is worthy of you leaving the house that’s a good start.

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If you have to think about it too hard then they probably aren’t. I really have trust in the insight of an introvert, they are so aware and that’s such a gift. I think there is nothing wrong with perhaps skipping the small talk, the other person may be taken aback but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, dating is dating and we cannot win at everything so they can’t all be fantastic. Do not try and do the small talk if it isn’t for you – talking about the journey briefly won’t hurt but if you really cannot do it then don’t. Opposed to what others may think I believe introverts on dates are much more interesting than what one may think.

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Meeting someone that doesn’t ask you where you went to high school and where you live and other questions that can be answered with one word is a good thing. Open-ended questions are wonderful so don’t hold back. Introverts will not hog the conversation as they often dislike talking about themselves and instead focus on possibilities and ideas – this would be a great thing to bring to the metaphorical dating table I think. Do say something about yourself, though, you’re brilliant. There is no going wrong when you are yourself so do not feel as though you should take part in uninteresting small talk and instead don’t be afraid to take the lead and talk about a topic that interests you. The date may go well, the date may go spectacularly or date may just be plain bad but you had a good time and there is no shame in that at the end of the day.

 

By Helena Fache

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