Ask Oloni “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Respect My Nigerian Culture…Help”

Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt

All dilemmas have been sent from real people and taken from www.simplyoloni.com/ask but answered in this feature

Hey Oloni, my boyfriend is my best friend and we’ve been together for a few years (he’s the only guy i’ve been with and vice versa). Problem: i’ve faked my orgasm every single time and now (the sex is great). I don’t know what to do because i’ve been faking it for so long so if if i suddenly stop he’ll be like what have i done different. Help!!

Women fake orgasms all the time. As I’m typing this, thousands of women all over the world are sadly faking one.

It happens. It’s extremely common, but now it’s time to stop and talk to him.

Many women do not reach a level of climax through penetration alone, so you have to think of other ways that might help you cum.

There’s a huge possibility that your body might enjoy clitoral stimulation, which will help you orgasm. Explain this to you boyfriend and remember this during sex as well as a good amount of foreplay(15-20 mins).

It’s also important to remember that for some women not having an orgasm doesn’t mean the sex was bad.. but let’s face it, we’d all like it.

Hi Oloni, I have a dilemma. So I’m Nigerian and my boyfriend is Jamaican. We’ve been dating for a while now and we’re pretty serious. One day I must’ve been looking at traditional attire for weddings (I’m Yoruba btw), I showed my boyfriend and he responded with “we aren’t doing any of that shit” I was proper confused and hurt but kind of kept it to myself. Anyway, recently we’ve been talking about meeting parents, I asked him to dobale for my dad, not like fully go on the floor but a quick knee bop. He told me he wouldn’t do it, which I guess was fine but his best friend is Korean and whenever he sees his parents he bows for them. It seems minor but it really hurts me and I feel like down the line, we’ll keep fighting about cultural things. Should I ignore it or bring up my upset with him? Thank you xx 

He seems quite trashy and extremely disrespectful. I personally don’t know why you’d want to be this sort of person. We should really respect all cultures, but especially the cultures of people we’re in relationships with.

The fact he bows for his Korean mates family also shows how little he rates you and Nigerian culture.

Get rid of him and find yourself a Kunle.

Hi Oloni. First time messaging! I was hooking up with a guy on and off for a year and have been going out with him as bf/gf now for 6 months. 3 months in I saw messages on his phone to a girl on Instagram arranging to meet up whilst he was on holiday. He said he never went through with it. I agreed to move past it and work through. Now 3 months later (6months in) I found out he recently slept with one of his old female friends. He’s said he’s genuinely sorry and will never let it or anything similar happen again. That he wants us for the long term. It’s been a month since this happened and I don’t know whether to give him one final chance. Any advice please?

He’s so sloppy and I don’t believe he didn’t meet up with that girl on holiday. You just didn’t have proof, the way you do this time. It just sounds like he can’t keep his dick in his pants and after some time, will only continue to cheat. It’s sensible to leave. Make sure you also get a check up!

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