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Sorry, I fell asleep
Hi oloni, I cheated on my husband and now we’re divorced. I felt terrible and I know I shouldn’t have done it but I was a drunken mess and regret it. Ever since then he has hated me to my very core. Even at divorce proceedings he never wanted to be in the same room as me unless it was to sign documents. I feel a great hatred and disdain towards me when he looks at me. Almost like he’s plotting on me. Ever since then he’s taken it out on our kids. He stopped coming to see them, and doesn’t want anything to do with them. He pays his child maintenance and that’s it. I know I messed up but my mistake shouldn’t have to affect our kids like this. I’ve tried everything and have even begged just for him to take them out just at least once but he’s not interested. He doesn’t respond to texts or calls from me so I don’t know what to do. Any advice?
11. December 2017
Heya it sounds like he’s clearly dealing with some misplaced anger and starting to resent the family you both created. Your ex is struggling to cope with the divorce and the infidelity, however it’s not an excuse, not even close to one. I think you should find a way to send him a message about what you’ve noticed as this could really begin to affect your children and ultimately, they come first.
He may not feel it now, but he’ll regret not being there properly, especially if this is due to what happened between the two of you.
Visiting his kids shouldn’t be seen as a chore and hopefully he’ll realise this. I think you just have to be patient, this isn’t something you can force on him.
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Hey Oloni. Who pays on couples trips or ‘baecations’?
11. December 2017
It really depends on age and your occupation in my opinion. I wouldn’t expect my 20 year old male readers to finance a 2 week trip away for him and his girlfriend of 6 months.
Olonio
Hey. My boyfriend is constantly mentioning a female colleague, and I get jealous whenever he mentions her. I keep it to myself and don’t take it out on him or tell him that I’m jealous, but it’s starting to get to me. How do I stop feeling jealous? Thank you
11. December 2017
Tell him about it, express that it’s low key getting to you.
Oloni
My male best friend of 10 years was always close and always loving. He met some weirdo girl and dropped ALL his friends for her. They two years in and about to get married and I probably won’t even be invited. Is this something I should just let go now since a wife comes before everyone or try to still salvage my friendship? – J.R.
11. December 2017
Two years and you’re only trying to mend your friendship as he gets married? Let this one go, you’re both clearly in different places now.
Oloni
I finally bit the bullet and slept with this guy I was talking to but whilst we doing the deed, he was calling me his ‘dirty bitch’. Not only that, he didn’t go down on me AND he was rapping his music in my ear. Prior to this horrible experience, I actually thought he was a decent guy and I enjoy talking to him. Is this something I can just address to him or should I just leave because of all these red flags?
11. December 2017
Rapping his music to you? Has he lost the plot? Excuse me for laughing, but lol! I don’t think past sexual partners have told him that it’s a huge turn off. “Dirty bitch” I’ve heard of before, but rapping?? That’s a new one.
You need to tell him to cut it out, if you don’t like what he’s saying, literally say “Can you not do that and perhaps do this instead?” (let the “this” be, kissing your neck) – If he doesn’t listen, please don’t sleep with him again.
Oloni
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