Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hey Oloni! I recently started dating my female friends, male bestfriend. She used to have deep feelings for him a while ago and she told me at the time, but she is now currently in a long-term relationship with someone else and they have been together for several years. Am I in the wrong for dating him? Have I violated “girl code” and does it still apply if we’re all full grown adults?
8. September 2023
You’d have to ask her how she feels. I’m sorry but if she’s been in a relationship for a long ass time, it shouldn’t matter, but that’s my opinion.
Oloni
I’ve been seeing a guy exclusively for about 8 months. We’ve been having the most amazing time, supporting each other emotionally and having the most incredible sex. We have baths, massages, and it feels like we’re a proper couple when we’re together, it feels right. Anyway, we went on holiday for two weeks last month and he’s said he’s not sure he sees me in a romantic way.. that it doesn’t feel right. Yet every time we’re together it carries on in the same couple way. It’s really confusing me, what do you think I should do?
8. September 2023
It seems like he wants a gf with no title. You know what to do, unless you’re okay with the set up.
Oloni
I was dating this guy and we stopped talking a week later he booked a holiday with his baby mama and kid then few months later we got back in touch and got back together, he said nothing happened with them it was for his son, should I be continuing things with this guy 🥴 he says he doesn’t have feelings and they been broke up for ages but in men I can’t trust
8. September 2023
LOL I don’t trust him for you either. I love that he’s coparenting in what seems a healthy way, but why did he stop communicating with you? I wouldn’t say stop talking to him, but if he’s one of many don’t prioritise him. In fact, even if he’s the only person you’re talking to be careful.
Oloni
Hello. I’ve been dating this guy for a few months. We’ve met eachother’s family and friends, we go church together and have also travelled. However he is not romantic. I am a lover girl and not the materialistic type (even though there’s nothing wrong with that) I’m the lovey dovey type, the hopeless romantic type that gets giddy over flowers, teddy bears, chocolate and love letters. In the past I’ve found it difficult to state this as I’ve had the ‘if he wants to be will’ and ‘I don’t want to sound needy’ mindset. However as people always say- communication is key, so I’ve taken this onboard and have stated to my now partner that romance is a non negotiable trait I look for. Fast forward to now, he has asked me to be his girlfriend but with no girlfriend proposal. The way he asked was a simple sit down, held my hand and said “let’s take what we have further will you be my girlfriend”. I can’t lie, I felt underwhelmed and disappointed. He could have gotten me flowers and wrote a cute gf proposal note, or made a collection of my favorite snacks/sentimental gifts to show he listens, or had ‘will you be my gf ?’ on a desert plate at a dinner date. But no, just a sit down. I said to him as much as I am falling in love and see a future with him I find it hard to accept being his girlfriend as he has not put any thought to asking and since we’ve been dating the only romantic gesture he’s done is buy me flowers once or twice to which he said his romantic side will come once I’m his girl and he knows me better. I am still skeptical about being his girl however I am at the stage where I’ve realised there aren’t many good guys in the world and personality and looks wise he ticks soo many boxes so would sacrificing romance be a big deal? My friends and family have said I’m over reacting and that I’ve dated romantic guys in the past that have done up flowers and sentimental love notes and that didn’t last, so compromises need to be made as no one’s perfect. What are your views on this ? Am I over reacting for not receiving a gf proposal? Are men able to grow in romance after some time?
8. September 2023
You want what you want and that’s fine. I honestly think it’s only starting to become a bit more common that we see super romantic gestures when asked to be someones gf/bf. Maybe I’m wrong, but you could express again that romance is a non-negotioable for you and give him other opportunities to cater to it. This might look like a random day after work where he surprises you with flowers, a birthday, any special occasion. but do communicate and see if he listens.
Oloni
Hey oloni, I need tips on pegging it’ll be my first time as well as his,
8. September 2023
Lots of lube and get him to clean really well. Also start off with a lot of foreplay, smaller toys, then work your way to the main event. Enjoy 😉
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