@aggyabby
Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
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Sorry, I fell asleep
If I’m having casual sex, is it absolutely required I tell people I have HSV2? I’ve never had an outbreak and if I would’ve never gotten tested, I wouldn’t have known. I take a pill once a day and never have raw sex whenever I do casual. Am I a bad person for not informing casual partners? Again, I’ve never had an outbreak.
6. February 2025
Yes, you should tell the person you’re sleeping with. I know herpes has a stigma, that.. in my opinion.. extremely outdated, but it is still your sexual duty to let them know.
Oloni
So I introduced my husband to my friend and her husband. The boys got along really well and stayed in touch. However, my husband recently received texts from the other guy along the lines of ‘the kids are in bed xx’ and ‘I left my work phone at your house xx’ my husband thought this was weird so called him and he just said it was an accident and his Siri must’ve sent them. This didn’t convince my husband and he thinks I should tell my friend. It could be a sign that he’s cheating but I don’t think I have enough evidence – I don’t want to start problems between them but if he is cheating, doesn’t she deserve to know? I also know that they haven’t been getting along. What should I do??
4. February 2025
You could bring it up casually and not in a way that makes it look like you’re snitching “omg did Roy..” (yes, I’m calling him Roy) “Omg did Roy tell you when Siri text my husband saying xyz. Bless him, what are men like aye?” – Let her put two and two together, but depending on how close you are driveeee it home. Don’t touch on it again unless she asks.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’m polyamorous and queer with a boyfriend, a girlfriend, and a new lover who’s a man and this is important because I haven’t been interested in men apart from my boyfriend in the last 5 years, until I met my new lover last year. It’s insane how well we go together and the chemistry we have. The issue is we (new lover and I) are having so much better sex than I am having with my boyfriend and I’m not sure how to improve our sex without making him feel jealous or less than. Things with my girlfriend are going spectacular tho.
4. February 2025
You’re so lucky I can keep up! basically you want to improve sex with your boyfriend. Get a copy of my book. The Big O 1. and 2 Try increasing your sexual currency and exploring new ways to enjoy intimacy. A lot of people have a routine when it comes to sex, but it’s important to find new ways to switch it up. From role playing, toys, location (not in a park please) those are cool and exciting ways to help explore and don’t forget to switch up positions, and look for new ways on how to enjoy sex. Good luck!
Girl I be getting pressed when my boyfriend tells me about his past and overshares. Like I get we both have pasts but sometimes I get in my feels and feel like he is reminiscing or feel jealous. Idk what’s going on but is it normal? Help cos I’m a supeeeeerrr secure girlie who knows she’s the shit
4. February 2025
You’re human and it annoys you sometimes. That’s okay. Speak up and tell him how you feel.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I just started reading the Big O! Thanks for writing, it’s actually very informative. I’ve always struggled with this pain when trying to engage with my vaginal opening. It’s why I’ve never used tampons and I’ve never successfully been fingered, even with one finger it’s too painful and I always asked them to stop. Now, I’ve started seeing this guy, I really like him. He’s really sweet and patient. However the same thing happens whenever we try. For my own pleasure I want to work through this and maybe even get over my fear of tampons. Any advice?
26. November 2024
Aww thanks love! See your doctor and ask about dilators.
oloni
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