Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
Grab a copy of The Big O: An empowering guide to loving, dating and f**king
Sorry, I fell asleep
I’ve recently started dating after such a long break from a hurtful relationship. A couple dates in with this particular guy i’m really feeling, i admited that i have a fuck buddy. The guy asked if we had slept together whilst we have been dating. I gave him the honest answer, which is yes. The guy ive been dating now want talk to me & has blanked me out. What do i do?
14. August 2015
Ugh, you’ve probably spoilt your chances. You got too personal, he didn’t need to know all of that. Try talking and asking if there’s a problem. See what he says.
Hi, I just wanted to say I really love what you do and keep and the good work. I’ve got a little dilemma, i thought you might be able to help. I’ve been with my be for nearly 9 months now and im a virgin and I want to keep it that way till I get married. I’ve told him this and he says he agrees but everything we get together he tries to touch me up and do all sorts. Whenever I’ve asked him why he admits and says he needs to have them things. I really want to get past this problem, should I just have sex with him or keep to my ground. There’s no particular reason why I don’t want to, not any religious reason or anything I just want to wait until marriage
14. August 2015
He needs to respect your decision. If you don’t want to have sex, then explain it to him again. Only get intimate when you’re ready. That could be marriage or tomorrow.
Hi Oloni, I wrote you a while back regarding my girl thinking she was entitled to go through my phone and generally just being invasive. Well about 6 weeks after that it all came to a head when I saw her going through my phone texting all the unsaved numbers asking “who’s this?”. What’s worse if she told me she did it in a way where I was supposed to be in trouble! I of course promptly left the relationship and told her to go and fix herself. Question is in the last few weeks we have been out a few times. On one occasion she opened up to me about how she knows how wrong it is to be so intrusive etc etc. How seriously should I take her? Given its not been long and I’m the type of person who wont put up with any of that going through my phone ish at all.
14. August 2015
Well the power is in your hands, do you forgive her? Can you forgive her? Think about and talk to her about it. If this is something you can move past then discuss again what you wont put up with.
Hi Oloni I recently started dating this guy for a few months and things are going well. However he put a picture of vaginas on his twitter and was describing his preferences that he can’t sex with a long labia. I have a long labia which I’m quite self conscious about and some discolouration in that area also. Naturally our relationship will become sexual and I’m scared he’ll reject me when he sees my vagina. I know that sounds bizarre but I’m really self conscious what do I do? (I’ve had sex before but that guy preferred it so it was okay)
11. August 2015
He sounds childish, very very very childish. Some men are so obsessed with what they see in porn they assume it’s a reality. Vaginas come in several shapes and sizes. So do not feel insecure about yours as they are never identical. What you should do is discuss it as it sounds like he doesn’t have much respect women and their bodies.
Hey Oloni, I have two kids, the oldest is 15 year old boy and the second is a 12 year old girl. Me and My husband have been together for 16 years (were both 32), however it wasn’t until our first daughter was born that he told me he was arrested on molestation charges of his toddler cousin when he was 14 but the Charges were dropped. This was before he met me and I believe him when he said he didn’t do it. He says it’s because of that arrest that he is super cautious around little girls (he didn’t even bath my daughter/changed diapers). Because of that my daughter is not close to her father at all, they barely talk. Right now I’m 4 months pregnant with a Lil girl and I want to start over, I want him to get over the arrest and bond with our daughter. How do I approach the situation?
11. August 2015
This is very deep. I think you both might need to go through some counselling as this is not only affecting your relationship, but the relationship he has with his very own child. Try to speak to him about it and suggest the idea. This isn’t something that goes away after one talk. I really feel as though a professional need to intervene so you can get your fresh start. Good luck.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!