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Hi, I am still friends with a guy I used to hook up with. We have been through ups and downs (we didn’t speak to each for a long time and have only recently started talking) and now we are in a really good place as friends. Because we are friends now he has told me has a girlfriend who he has been seeing for over a year. My heart just sank when he told me, its not that I have still have feelings for him. Its just I feel like I’m never ever going to find someone and get into a serious relationship. All the guys I meet are just interested in sex and not in me and what I have to offer. I am really feeling a bit shit and don’t know how to pick myself up.
9. November 2015
You have to stop assuming that a boyfriend will make you feel better about yourself. You’ll run mad! I think you need to ask yourself why you’re only meeting these type of guy, because there are others out there who want exactly what you’d like, a commitment. Try going to new places to meet new men!
Hi oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two months now. Prior to this I was single for just over 2 years but after a lot of covinvincing and actions I know that he’s serious and not here for games also we did know each other before we go together (hi, bye basic coversations sort of friendshi). My issue here 2 months into the relationship I don’t feel like I’m getting to know him more like it Was in the beginning, before we became official, we would speak everyday for hours but now we don’t speak everyday and when we do speak its never really anything serious just hi how you doing. I have spoken to him about this but still nothing’s changed. I’m not sure if I’m over thinking as we are still very early into the relationship and also it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship so I’m not sure what to do. Help
9. November 2015
I think you should give it some more time and see if things change, also make sure you’re doing your part in the relationship and if you still think nothing is changing it’s up to you, to decide what to do next within the relationship. You can’t force anyone to be how they were, but be patient.
Hey Oloni. I feel like my boyfriend uses me for sex he rarely if ever asks me on a date, 80% of the time we go on dates it’s me initiating. When he does ask it’s always “come see me” so that we can fuck. I like the sex don’t get me wrong I’m just tired of that being the only time he wants to see me. I want to tell him but I know him, if I mention it he’ll stop “booty calling” me all together, which is not what I want I just want him to ask me out where we spend time together with our clothes on. I mean I shouldn’t have to asked to be asked out right? I feel used and it’s starting to make me resent him and the sex. How do I go about fixing this? I’ve never had this problem in a relationship before..
9. November 2015
You have to speak about it. No relationship can form properly if you don’t communicate how you this affects you or how it makes you feel. A relationship that focuses on sex alone isn’t a relationship, it’s just a fancy title. So voice what you wrote to me to him and see how he responds, then work from there.
Hi. I don’t usually do this but I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. Ok so me & my bf have been happily together for 1yr+ and we both know we are each other’s future so we are set for life, investing etc. Not so many months ago, we found out we are pregnant, we were very happy but sadly came to an agreement to not keep the baby as at the time we were not financially ready for a child. We’ve learnt and decided to abstain until marriage. Both being practice Christians we’ve numerously prayed for forgiveness. However we are both hurt from the decision. He’s very strong and so am I but since the day, over the past months I’m very emotionally unstable and easily put myself into depression. Plus everyone around me is pregnant or has just had a baby, friends, you tubers, Facebook, insta, they all due near where my due date would’ve been. Also, Eastenders and now Hollyoaks covering still births stories in their programmes doesn’t help us at all to even watch normal tv to the point he won’t let me watch certain episodes for my own grief. I’m a strong person, but with the pressure of best friends usually talking about their baby, the videos, baby scan pics, snapchats, insta pics, YouTuber’s I watch too it isn’t easy AT ALL. Once I feel like I’ve got passed my “depressed” stage something out of the blue will pop up to get me back again, e.g. Shabnam’s still birth in Eastenders. I really don’t know how to get past this and don’t know what to do and hope you can help. This is very personal so I was wondering if you could delete this post after a day of you posting this. Many thanks xxx
5. November 2015
Hey love, I’m deeply sorry to hear what you’re going through, and sadly the most I can do is just give advice and coach people who want to improve their relationship. I’m not a councillor or a therapist, but I would suggest that you see your GP/go to a clinic..as I know they can recommend you to a professional to give you all the help you need and deserve.
You can also try looking at Marie Stopes here: https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/women/counselling
Hey I have been seeing this guy for a month now, I knew him 7yrs back and I liked him but he didn’t like me. We met coincidentally and click so well,I have never felt so free with anyone else. Sadly his going back to his country soon as his here for masters, he hasn’t made it very official and when I talk about it he comforts me saying he likes me, but doesn’t want a relationship cause he has a child. Well what a stupid excuse, I like him but I don’t really care if we get serious or not which is not usual cause I always care. He still talks to his baby mama well and it seems like that’s the girl he want to marry, I spoke to him about it and he was so shocked that he didn’t say word. He says is confused about is love life, I love our sex life,so good but I don’t know what’s going on between us, and I don’t even really care if we are serious or not. Any advice?
5. November 2015
It sounds like you’re looking for someone to fill an empty void, and you’re not too bothered on whether it’s physically or emotionally. Your friend is going back to his country and has made it clear, that he isn’t looking for anything more right now. Yes you clicked, but there are other people out there who you can click with also. Find them and don’t stress yourself out with this situationship.
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