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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Relationship Coaching Packages 3. January 2016

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Hey Oloni! I’m in my early twenties and married, though my husband and I have been seperated for over a year. Mostly due to the fact that I only married out of pressure. I realised I unhappy way before I left him and it showed in little things like the fact that I’ve always wanted to be a mum but was so adamant about using birth control “because I wasn’t ready” and “because I want to fall in love first”. So anyway during this seperation where I’ve patiently been waiting for a divorce, I fell in love with a friend. Had a sexual relationship with him – lost my v to my husband so it’s a big thing to me and had two abortions this year 😐 crazy I know. We’re madly in love and I’m ready to get hitched to him and get these papers asap but…….. my mom. He’s not from my country. My mom would never allow it. Idk what to do. I don’t want to be suspended in this “seperation” status forever. Btw my bf thinks I’m completely divorced. 3. January 2016

You need to tell your boyfriend the real deal, be completely honest if you want what you have with him to seriously go somewhere. As for the approval of your mother, you’re just going to have to decide what’s more important to you. You’ve clearly been unhappy in the past especially in this marriage. I think it’s time you live for yourself now and do what brings your sheer happiness.


Hi Oloni, I’ve been seeing this guy and we’ve been physically intimate a few times. Over the course of it, he began talking about love and the need for a serious relationship with proper titles and so on. However, when I posed to him that I would like to try to be celibate, he quickly wanted to end everything because he’s not ready to try that. While I understand that I can’t force him to share the same viewpoints as I, I am hurt at how quickly (and rudely) he could walk away as soon as sex was off the table. 3. January 2016

Sex can be a big deal for a lot of people in relationships, however sometimes when you like a person you adjust to their needs. It’s hurtful, but perhaps that’s just where his mind was at all along.


Hey, I’m 16 years old, and I have been talking to this boy for a long time now (about a year) and we both know where it’s at. We agreed to be close friends, with the added sexual benefits. I really like where it is at the moment, but I’m scared I’m getting feelings for him, but in a weird way. I don’t want to further out relationship, as in becoming exclusive, but I get jealous when he talks to other girls, but I know that’s what we arranged. I don’t know what to do? Please help 3. January 2016

You’ve got a friend with benefits, but you clearly can’t handle it, so perhaps you need to rethink this agreement.


Hi Oloni, I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months. I’ve been travelling to meet him at uni every month and things have been going great. But every time I ask him what we are, he basically just says “we’re an item” or “we’re obviously seeing each other”. One time, I was drunk and he rang me to check up on me and I basically called him my boyfriend during the entire call repeatedly but he ignored it every time and when I went to see him the next day after the incident, he didn’t bring it up or anything. I don’t know whether I should end things with him as he appears as if he doesn’t want things to get serious or escalate but on the other hand, I don’t want to pressure him into anything as he got out of a 2 year relationship about 6 months ago. I’m completely stuck on what to do and I don’t want to be wasting my time as I also have uni and can’t be travelling/putting so much effort into something with someone who isn’t looking for something serious. 3. January 2016

He knows what he’s doing when he answers your questions and isn’t ready to actually have a conversation about where the relationship is going. After explaining when his last relationship was it doesn’t surprise me that he’s behaving this way. At this point I think you’re wasting your time and if you’re sleeping with him and giving him the perks a man gets from being in an actual relationship he will carry on taking advantage. He never corrected you or brought up the conversation when you called him your boyfriend, because the relationship you’ve created in your head has nothing to do with him.


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