Situationships can be one of the most unhealthiest bonds between a man  and woman. It’s so unhealthy that they’ve had to give it a new name. You’re in a ‘situation’, which in reality means you’re not single, but you certainly can’t see anyone else. Does being in a situationship mean you’re still not allowed to flirt or date anybody? It’s beyond complicated that nobody knows the rules, which initially causes the arguments. However, when both parties know they’re committed to each other and each other alone, there is no space for confusion.

Situationships have become the substitute for relationships in 2014. It’s scary to think we’re living in a society where sex is more of a focus even if things aren’t working out, but why are we settling for that alone?

What makes a situationship different to a relationship in reality? Are some of us unknowingly in a broken one that only works well when legs are spread apart beneath the sheets? Have we told ourselves this is all it can be, because we’re done trying to fix what’s causing the arguments and fighting? “As long as that spot is getting hit and that climax is felt, what’s there to really resolve?”

What causes them?
I have this ideology that it’s mainly due to the lack of respect between both people OR not being able to let go, especially if you’ve known each other for a very long amount of time. You become reliant upon each other but at least one party is clued up to the fact that it’s only a temporary forever. There’s no real future here but it’ll do for the time being.

How long do they last for?
There’s no exact time limit to how long these situationships last for, however what is true is that they are very poisonous. These confusing complications usually start with people who refuse to leave each other alone and always seem to worm their way back into each others lives. We all know someone who has been in some sort of situationship for many years.

I had a friend who was on and off with her ex for over 3 years, ‘Oh Oloni you know there’s always one! The one, you just always go back to.’ She exclaimed over the phone to me. Things never changed between the two. They fought, cried, had sex… But couldn’t work out their differences. It was hard for the couple because they had grown up together. When you become so close with someone, and have been through all sorts of mess it makes you wonder if the respect and love is still the same, or just gone completely out of the window. You feel devalued, but also know they will always come back.

Is love ever included or just the familiarity of having a certain lover in your life? ‘Titles ain’t shit, if the story doesn’t match it’.

Nonetheless, situationships are NOT always based on the physical. I repeat IT IS NOT ALWAYS BASED ON THE PHYSICAL! But by how sex is viewed and seen in society today, it’s the biggest type. Emotional situationships do exist and there is a much deeper side to it. There are plenty of people who have been dating for a while, on and off but have probably not seen each other’s bedrooms and are still lined up inbetween the words ‘situation’ and ‘relationship’, with no sense of direction of where the relationship is going. This is also how it starts.

The only way to not fall into the trap of the most common type of situationship is by not giving your all and replacing it with the only thing that may make you happy for a few minutes. Sex. Yes, it feels great and there’s nothing better than sleeping with a person who knows your body, but sometimes you have to sit back and ask yourself is it worth it? Is sex with xyz more valuable than taking the risk & actually seeing if there’s a future on the horizon by communicating openly? For once at least. If you want more but you’re getting less, walk away.

Situationships take two.

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

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