Hey,

The right man for you will understand that that’s simply an important question to ask when working your way into a relationship. You technically can’t “ruin” something by simply wanting clarity. A guy who sees you asking a simple question on his views on relationships and you stating your views on relationships as “ruining” the moment isn’t a guy that planned to take you seriously in the first place and being hesitant to ask the necessary questions is EXACTLY how people end up in situationships (and I’m sure you know all too well that in situationships the guy are almost always VERY vocal as to what they want but we ladies are sitting there afraid to offend). Don’t water down your points, say it as it is and hope that he respects it, if he doesn’t then he’s not the one for you. Something like “I want to know whether or not you’re getting to know me with the hopes of eventually pursuing a relationship with me or you have no plans to get in one” and don’t accept ‘I just want to see where things go” as a valid answer. Make it clear that you want to know exactly what he is seeking.

-Ebi.A

Hey,

When you’re healing you have to do what’s best for you and that may include distancing yourself from people you never thought you’d distance yourself from and finding comfort in other people. It’s usually during these times that you see who your real friends are and where their loyalty lies. So I’d advise you to distance yourself and focus on your healing and surround yourself with friends you can count on. Don’t let your friend attempt to make you feel comfortable with something you’re not comfortable with and tbh I don’t believe you need to tell her that that is unacceptable behaviour, she’s probably not daft. So just focus on getting better and being a better you. Practical advice: Throw yourself into your passions, go out with or talk more with the friends that you can count on, if you don’t have them, make those friends, don’t isolate yourself, you’ll get lost in your thoughts and take your time.

-Ebi.A

Hey,

I honestly think he’s not that interested in you. The fact that we’re now at the end of January and you have no idea whether he likes you is a HUGE red flag. Stop making excuses for his behaviour, he probably isn’t afraid of the age difference, if he was he wouldn’t have gone there in the first place. Let this one go. Because  this thing he calls “chilling” is a situationship and those never end well. You’re young don’t let someone hold you back from prospering please and when if he eventually ever feels ready to be in a relationship he will come to you and make that clear. But for now it’s time to duck out and you do that by wearing less and going out more. I joke, you do that by distancing yourself and focusing on other things.

-Ebi. A

Hey,

Win him back for what? I don’t understand how that became your role. I can understand expecting mutual effort at this point but as for him expecting you to fight for him as if he didn’t offend you is quite absurd. Tell him where you’re at on this situation and tell him you’re struggling to trust him, see what he says and how you believe he needs to respect your feelings/concerns…start there, if he’s still being disrespectful then your only other option is to move forward and just maintain a professional work relationship with him and the girl.

-Ebi. A

Hey,

By weighing up the opportunity cost of hanging about and identifying the things you value. I personally think if it’s meant to be it will be even if you go on and do your own thing. I don’t believe in putting your own life, happiness and well-being on pause for anyone, I see having to do that as a sign that you’re not compatible at that moment in time. When you’re both on the same page pursue that situation, but for as long as you’re not, do you (doing you doesn’t necessarily mean seeing other people, it means you’re open to it and your life is not on pause).

-Ebi. A