Hey lovely,

I’m so sorry to hear this. My heart dropped at the end. As painful as this may be to read some guys just don’t have any natural game, we call them losers, those are the guys who sell dreams or do the most in order to get what they want from a girl because they have no hopes of getting anywhere with a girl by being honest. He had no intention of taking you seriously let alone seeing you again. Now you’re pregnant. Unfortunately I can’t tell you what to do with that pregnancy, it’s simply not my place. But what I will suggest is that you go to a clinic and discuss your options, I would advise you also go to a trusted family member or friend with your situation, you need all the support you can get. If you plan to inform him, inform him when you know what you are going to do. Don’t do anything you do not feel comfortable doing just to please or keep him, think very carefully about each potential decision and understand that either way you look at it it won’t be easy but with a great support system (including counselling) you will get through it in time. Don’t do anything that you’re likely to regret. Hope this helps. Sending love your way.

Ebi

Hey,

My view on breaks has changed over the years. I don’t see the problem, sometimes you need space and need to be able to work things out without having someone in your space and sometimes you both need space to grow, especially if you discover that for one reason or another, you’re both standing in the way of each other. Do it out of love though, no bitterness and be very clear about the boundaries (if any) to avoid adding more problems to your current situation.

-Ebi

Over 2000, now what were you saying again?

Ebi

Hey,

What you do is do what’s best for you. You didn’t sign up for a bummy guy so you definitely don’t need to tolerate one. Make it explicitly clear to him that his actions are putting a strain on your relationship from your end and that you don’t think you can tolerate it anymore. Offer up that compromise again, which is to suggest that he finds a job in the meantime or at least shows some evidence of being proactive, even if it means gaining experience by doing voluntary roles, so that you know he’s not just being idle. Tell him if he doesn’t start showing you signs of progress you’re going to have to leave and make it clear that it is making you more and more disinterested in him and the relationship. Consider the fact that he might be depressed down to his inability to find a job which is why he may be shutting you down and it’s not always fair to assume he isn’t trying hard enough just because he hasn’t secured a job yet so be fair, but if all evidence points towards him not working hard enough then your point and this advice still stands. So encourage him but do not sugarcoat the reality of what needs to be done. Also don’t let him guilt trip you with this whole “if you really loved me” thing, sometimes love is telling someone what’s best for them, it doesn’t always feel good, but as long as that person is coming from the right place and has your best interest at heart that line shouldn’t apply to you. Hope this helped.

Ebi

Hey,

Let it go. Do everything in your power to let it go. He is getting everything he wants from you and in action is showing you that he doesn’t care enough about you to keep things real. It’s not easy but you need to distance yourself until you’re over it. Unless you just want to hang around and get hurt or stay in this situationship till thy kingdom come and miss out on so many other people who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Stop cockblocking yourself and understand that any real friend who genuinely cares for you will tell you “look i’m not in a space to be serious and I don’t want to hurt you so let’s end this and just remain friends”, he hasn’t said or implied this but has instead chosen to lie (assuming you can draw that conclusion from what you’ve seen) that imo makes your friendship questionable and I don’t feel like you owe him that loyalty. You don’t stop treating your friends with respect just because you decide to take things further. So yeh, leave this behind, you still have loads of months to make this year your year, don’t waste them on anyone who insists on wasting your time.

-Ebi