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Hi Oloni, really need some advice about this one. So my flatmate and her boyfriend have been together 6 years, their relationship isn’t like most others and in no way romantic. Her boyfriend seems a bit more immature than your usual 23 year old and it’s becoming an issue for her as she is always complaining about him to me and comparing my relationship to hers which I keep telling her not to do as it won’t help. He is also the only guy she has been with and she is constantly asking me is it bad that she wonders what it is like to be with someone else sexually and emotionally. I don’t know how to answer the question but if she loved him and saw her future with him those thoughts wouldn’t cross her mind right?
11. May 2016
Heya hun, I think your flat mate probably wants to end things, but doesn’t want to be alone and perhaps just likes the idea of being with someone and not the actual person she’s with. Six years is a very long time, but in no way shape or form does it validate holding on to a crappy relationship.
When she comes to you next (if), ask her why she’s still with her current bf, if these are the thoughts she’s having?
Oloni
Hi Oloni. So I’ve been this guy for nearly three months now. He’s amazing and makes me really happy. We did see eachother for a few weeks before actually making it official. It was difficult considering his ex girlfriend was still trying to make things work. Anyways, just yesterday I found out from a trustworthy friend of mine that the ex girlfriend (who’s also friends with him) that my boyfriend slept with her before we got together. Now I don’t know if this was just before we officially got together or during the beginning of seeing eachother. There was no indication of having an open relationship. He told me he had feelings for me and I did the same. Now it’s way more than that. I just don’t know what to think, why would he sleep with his ex after he told me he had feelings for me? Like I want to leave it in the past now, since things are amazing now. I just need advice on whether or not I should tell him I know about this. Thanks for reading!
11. May 2016
Heya, I totally understand your conundrum. You’re having a ‘do i?’ or ‘don’t i?’ moment. I think if it’s on your mind you should talk to him about it to make sure it isn’t just hearsay. ‘Is it okay if we have a chat about something that’s been on my mind?’ – Talk to him! Things can still be amazing and healthy after having a conversation.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I have been going out with my man for 4/5 months. I have a job and I am also a student. He does not work and has been struggling with money since I met him due to student loan issues beyond his control. Now and again I buy him gifts but I have noticed he isn’t willing to get a job. It is now effecting our relationship because I can’t afford to buy him things and be paying for meals out etc. should I leave him or stay? I’ve motivated him and even applied for jobs for him but he seems uninterested. I need help.
11. May 2016
You’re not his mother and he sounds annoying. Move on.
Oloni
Hey Oloni. So I was with my boyfriend on our way to my colleagues baby shower. I wanted to stop to get a gift on the way when I realised I had left my purse at home. I kindly asked my boyfriend to use his card. He hesitantly gave it to me after I said I would spend £10 and pay him back the next day. I left to go and purchase the gift but had then decided to spend £15 (still intending to pay back the full amount). On my return to the car (which I was driving by the way), I met my bf waiting in the passenger seat. I thankfully handed back his bank card and told him that I spent £5 more than expected reassuring him I would pay him back the next day. My bf was really annoyed with me and even swore in anger. I know I told him I would spend less than I actually did but is an extra fiver that you’ll be paid back worth starting an argument over? Am I overthinking this? I need some opinions from both sexes?
10. May 2016
Hey hun, I feel like you should have gotten permission before spending more than you originally said. I get it’s only £5 and honestly it’s not that serious, but you have no idea (or maybe you do) what his financial situation is like. I personally feel like he’s pissed off at the principle and annoyed you forgot your own money. No he shouldn’t have sworn, but I hope you’ve paid him back and apologised.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, what does it mean when your partner gets turned on by the thought of you with several other people? My man keeps talking about how he would to watch me in bed with other men and women. But i can understand the woman part since I’m bisexual but i don’t get how he can comfortable with such. Also he loves the idea of showing me off completely naked to people. is this okay?
10. May 2016
Hey dear, these all sound like fantasies of his which is pretty normal for many. Speak to him about it and get more details as to what aspect turns him on from this all. Remember you don’t have to do any of these things if you’re not comfortable with it.
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