Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey oloni, I’ve been with my girl for 2years now, but there’s a lot of trust issues on my part, she’s at uni in Canterbury and I work in London, I’m so in love with her, the thing is her ex boyfriend also goes to the same uni which i feel uneasy about, I constantly accuse her of wanting to get back with him, and she reassures me that’s not the case, but a friend of mine who’s also a friend of her ex has told me that she’s constantly asking him why he’s not talking to her anymore, like she misses him, I’ve told her what I’ve been told and she’s upset I believe my friend and not her, I don’t know to do, I love this girl so much and would love to marry her one day when she finishes uni but I’ve been hurt before and a broken heart is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Please help 26. May 2016

I agree having a broken heart is one of the worst feelings, so I totally understand how you feel. If she’s never given you a reason to worry before I think you should give your partner the benefit of the doubt. I’m glad you spoke up and told her what was said, but the next step for you in my opinion is to ask that mutual friend of yours and her ex to stop speaking about your girlfriend to you unless he has hard proof and not some petty sh*t either. Do you know how easy it is to say, ‘I heard she was asking why he doesn’t speak to her any more’? or even misinterpret it. Her ex might even be intentionally saying things to him, because he knows the idiot between the both of you will say something. It’s complicated, but if you want this to work, you have to trust her.

Oloni

Hi oloni my bf recently started calling me ugly and fat which I believe I am neither every time we argue. The last time he said it I had said “well that’s funny bc the others boy I talk to doesn’t think I’m ugly or fat :/” to which he went crazy and called me a cheater after that I stopped talking to him. But a couple days later he showed up at my dorm with flowers and a teddy bear and had apologised for what he said, saying he didn’t mean it. Now I know he didn’t mean it but then why say it in the first place and get annoyed when other boys treat me better? Surely if he wants me to think that HE thinks I’m ugly and fat he would expect me to leave him right? p.s keep up the good work !! 26. May 2016

Hey girl, I’ll keep it real with you. I don’t think you should stay in this relationship. It’s okay to have arguments as all couples do, but when either of you start to get personal it becomes abusive. He’s calling you these things to lower your self esteem and that is absolutely wrong. Teddy bears and flowers, do not compensate for his disrespect and this doesn’t even sound like it’s the first time he’s made these rude comments. Be smart about this situation and let go of this asshole.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I need some advice from you and possibly the timeline. My ex-boyfriend from about four years ago has been arrested for rape (we’ve stayed in contact every now and again since then). I won’t go into the details for legal reasons but I don’t believe (or don’t want to believe) he did it. He wants me to testify in court about our relationship, to show that he wasn’t aggressive or anything. However during our relationship, he lied a lot, was manipulative, emotionally abusive and cheated several times. That being said, we were both young and he’s grown up since then. What should I do? 17. May 2016

Hey love, yikes. Tough situation, ultimately the decision is yours. Personally I don’t think you should go as nothing positive will come out of this. If you do decide to go, you need to make sure you’re completely honest. He sounds like he’s desperate and looking for someone to help fight his corner.. but see here’s the thing you’re not that person. Yeah, you dated quite a long time ago but the history of the relationship still doesn’t erase itself.

Whatever you decide to do, put yourself first, be honest and wise.

Oloni

Hi oloni , I have been in a LDR for a very long time now , and my BF is the absolute best, i haven’t met any one better than he is , but I am tired .we started dating early and I couldn’t experience the hoe stage , presently, I am older and should be thinking of serious things , but truth be told … I want to be a hoe … Lol … I want to know what someone else tastes like . I tried breaking up , but he doesn’t want to let me go, and I don’t know what to do 17. May 2016

Hey love, if you want to be a hoe or have a hoe phase then do so responsibly. You shouldn’t and can’t continue to be with someone you’re not fully invested in any more. I’d advise that if you’re positive you can’t commit to the relationship, you have an honest and open conversation and take action.

Oloni

Dear Oloni, Let me start off by commending the platform you’ve raised in order for our generation to be more open as to the sexual elements in our relationships etc. Now, often as ladies we talk a whole lot about guys cheating and so fourth but I want to know whether you personally or any other ladies out there have actually cheated on their other half. I’m trying to figure out why it’s so much more different when women cheat as opposed to when guys cheat. 11. May 2016

Hey love thanks!

I’ve covered this topic here: https://simplyoloni.com/5-women-who-confess-to-why-they-cheated/

Oloni

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