Ask Oloni

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Hi oloni my bf recently started calling me ugly and fat which I believe I am neither every time we argue. The last time he said it I had said “well that’s funny bc the others boy I talk to doesn’t think I’m ugly or fat :/” to which he went crazy and called me a cheater after that I stopped talking to him. But a couple days later he showed up at my dorm with flowers and a teddy bear and had apologised for what he said, saying he didn’t mean it. Now I know he didn’t mean it but then why say it in the first place and get annoyed when other boys treat me better? Surely if he wants me to think that HE thinks I’m ugly and fat he would expect me to leave him right? p.s keep up the good work !! 26. May 2016

Hey girl, I’ll keep it real with you. I don’t think you should stay in this relationship. It’s okay to have arguments as all couples do, but when either of you start to get personal it becomes abusive. He’s calling you these things to lower your self esteem and that is absolutely wrong. Teddy bears and flowers, do not compensate for his disrespect and this doesn’t even sound like it’s the first time he’s made these rude comments. Be smart about this situation and let go of this asshole.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I need some advice from you and possibly the timeline. My ex-boyfriend from about four years ago has been arrested for rape (we’ve stayed in contact every now and again since then). I won’t go into the details for legal reasons but I don’t believe (or don’t want to believe) he did it. He wants me to testify in court about our relationship, to show that he wasn’t aggressive or anything. However during our relationship, he lied a lot, was manipulative, emotionally abusive and cheated several times. That being said, we were both young and he’s grown up since then. What should I do? 17. May 2016

Hey love, yikes. Tough situation, ultimately the decision is yours. Personally I don’t think you should go as nothing positive will come out of this. If you do decide to go, you need to make sure you’re completely honest. He sounds like he’s desperate and looking for someone to help fight his corner.. but see here’s the thing you’re not that person. Yeah, you dated quite a long time ago but the history of the relationship still doesn’t erase itself.

Whatever you decide to do, put yourself first, be honest and wise.

Oloni

Hi oloni , I have been in a LDR for a very long time now , and my BF is the absolute best, i haven’t met any one better than he is , but I am tired .we started dating early and I couldn’t experience the hoe stage , presently, I am older and should be thinking of serious things , but truth be told … I want to be a hoe … Lol … I want to know what someone else tastes like . I tried breaking up , but he doesn’t want to let me go, and I don’t know what to do 17. May 2016

Hey love, if you want to be a hoe or have a hoe phase then do so responsibly. You shouldn’t and can’t continue to be with someone you’re not fully invested in any more. I’d advise that if you’re positive you can’t commit to the relationship, you have an honest and open conversation and take action.

Oloni

Dear Oloni, Let me start off by commending the platform you’ve raised in order for our generation to be more open as to the sexual elements in our relationships etc. Now, often as ladies we talk a whole lot about guys cheating and so fourth but I want to know whether you personally or any other ladies out there have actually cheated on their other half. I’m trying to figure out why it’s so much more different when women cheat as opposed to when guys cheat. 11. May 2016

Hey love thanks!

I’ve covered this topic here: https://simplyoloni.com/5-women-who-confess-to-why-they-cheated/

Oloni

Hi Oloni. I have just recently starting dating a guy who I really really like. However he lives 5 hours away from me, I have never been in a long distance relationship, nevermind dating long-distance. Any advice on how to handle it? 11. May 2016

Hey love, LDR can be tough, but if you both have the same goal it mind you have nothing to worry about. Don’t treat your LDR like a TYPE or relationship, but just the position you’re both in now. Do you get my drift?

Stay in sync by continuously having something to talk about and discuss. Agree to watch the same films, perhaps together via FaceTime? Read the same books, download the same albums/mixtapes.

Set up times to have Skype or FaceTime dates. It’s 2016 and we have such a huge advantage of how to communicate with each other, so do it.

Also, remember to schedule dates to meet up next. Nothing beats, being able to hold, touch or caress your partner so make sure that’s something you both always talk about. (Meeting up next, not the caressing lol.. actually phone sex is good too. I’m going off board, hope this helped.lol )

Oloni

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