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Hey,

My only answer is to go through the motions. Some day’s you will go longer without thinking about her, some days you’ll think about her like crazy, it’s the process of letting go, embrace it. Moving on isn’t about suppressing every single emotion/memory related to that person, it’s coming to peace with it all and coming to peace with it isn’t a space void of emotion. You will still feel and you will still express that feeling but you won’t be where you once were if you channel your “healing” in the right way. Practically, keep yourself busy, surround yourself with dope friends who KNOW how best to distract you [none of this lazy get with loads of girls approach without addressing the real issue rubbish], a lot of guys tend to drown themselves in games or go to the gym (this is a popular one amongst guys, working on your physique has a strange way of making you  feel better about yourself). The other major one is working on your passions/talents, put it all into that. As a rule of thumb being the same person or a lesser version of yourself a year after a break up is the easiest way to feel as though you’ve lost a part of you in that break up, becoming a better version of yourself, that version of self you were unable to be within that relationship is the best way to feel as though you gained more than you lost.

Hope this helped.

Ebi

Hey,

It’s simple. Make sure this is what you truly want, if it is respectfully end it. You don’t have to be clear as to exactly why. Just end it, he deserves someone who likes the things you don’t. Don’t drag this out any longer as you will inevitably hurt him.

Hope this helped.

Ebi

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Hey,

You’d have to specify exactly what you mean by over it for me to truly understand where you’re at. However, I’ll share my opinion on marriage in general. Although, I’m not married myself one consistent piece of advice that always seems to be the common thread amongst married couples is that in marriage “you choose to love” (technically before marriage you can do the same) but with regards to maintaining that spark you have to choose to do so. More often than not choosing to do so will go against how you already feel. So even when you don’t feel like it you still pick love (this is where the “marriage is hard work” thing comes from I guess) .

Practically, what this looks like in my opinion is prioritising open communication, expressing how you feel to your partner not just to vent but to seek a solution, because your end goal is to make things work. When you openly communicate having already given up you not only do you defeat the purpose of communicating within the context of a relationship/marriage, you also indirectly express to your partner that you feel that there’s nothing that can be done on their end to fix how you feel which invites frustration and does nothing for the overall health of your relationship. Another practical step is to do the things that remind you of why you both fell in love in the first place, assuming love was the underlying motivation for your marriage.

Write down what it is you love about your wife and consistently remind yourself of those things even when she falls short. Go to the places that remind you of your love, do things that remind you of your love, create new memories. Make it a habit to not get held down by the stress of life and do things to celebrate and reignite your love.

Understanding how each other operate. Do you show love in the same way? You can be a gift-giver, she can be affectionate, does if she doesn’t give gifts as often as you do mean she doesn’t love you just as much? No. Do you deal with pressure/disappointment the same way? Understanding and embracing your differences will help you reach a solution quicker.

Lastly check your expectations, check whether your expectations of marriage were reasonable. Sometimes unreasonable expectations lead to disappointment and could also lead to us applying an unhealthy amount of pressure on those we are expectant of to always act in line with our expectations. This is not to say do not have expectations, it’s to say be fair in your expectations. It will save both you and your wife a lot of unnecessary stress.

Hopefully this helped. Let us know how it goes.

Ebi. A

Hey,

First of all your wife is not a child, so I’m not sure what exactly you mean by discipline in reference to a grown adult and quite frankly that’s a worrying choice of words to use in reference to your wife and I do hope you have no intentions of harming her.

Now assuming and hoping that is not the case your first response should be to actually sit your wife down and make it extremely clear that the way she is behaving is damaging your relationship.

Explain to her that things need to change (without being patronising) if your marriage is to be healthy (or continue depending on what you have decided).

Ask her if there’s anything you need to know or anything that may be causing her to act out.

If a conversation doesn’t work maybe ask if she’d be willing to seek marriage counselling with you.

If that doesn’t seem to work it’s down to you to work out how best to protect your happiness. Only you can come to that decision. After exhausting all of these options with no progress, please feel free to write in with your options and we can guide you through them all.

Ebi. A