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Hey Oloni, ive cheated on my boyfriend twice with my ex and I really dont know what to do. Ive been with this guy for nearly a year and I care about him a lot but the way he treats me makes me really doubt our relationship sometimes. He doesnt pay me enough attention and sometimes he goes days without talking to me, i just dont really feel special or important to him at all. I have told him on many occasions how bad he makes me feel but he always makes out that im moaning at things for no reason and im just being petty so whats the point? Although Ive only kissed my ex in the 2 times i’ve cheated, sometimes I find myself resenting the fact that im not with him anymore. Im so confused about how I feel because my boyfriend isnt always such a dickhead lol, but when he is I just wish i was with my ex instead. My ex and my boyfriend are mutual friends so im scared about what will happen if i told my boyfriend the truth. What should I do?
28. July 2016
Hun what are you doing? If you’re not happy and find yourself jumping elsewhere for attention, why not leave? You’re disrespecting yourself and your relationship. He hasn’t kidnapped you and forced you to stay so what is the problem? if you rather be with someone else do that and make yourself happy.
I will say one thing though you need to be honest and tell him, cheating really is cheating and it could get really messy if he finds out through the grapevine.
Oloni
Hi Oloni I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He’s great. Never given me a reason to doubt his loyalty. He recently started a new job and has a few new friends from there which I think is cool. However, there’s one particular colleague that has started subtly moving to him in his dms (we’re logged onto each other’s twitter accounts). I’ve never had a problem with him being friends with girls but this one obviously wants more. She’s even requesting for him to buy things for her. I don’t want him to think I’m spying on him or don’t trust him but I really don’t want him to entertain her anymore. Should I just tell him regardless of how petty it makes me look?
28. July 2016
It doesn’t make you look petty. Another woman outside of family has no business asking your partner to buy her a damn thing. Communicate with him and tell him what you saw and how it made you feel. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying ‘Hey babe, I came across a message from your co-worker and it made be uncomfortable when I saw her asking for xyz…’
Oloni
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Hi Oloni, me and my bestfriend at uni are really close and are so open, especially about sex. She mentioned the other day that at some point she’d love if we slept together as we both want to try lesbian sex. I think it’s a great idea but I also am fearful of it perhaps putting an awkward dent in our friendship, do you have any advice? Thanks! Xx
28. July 2016
Hey hun it’s great you both want to explore your sexuality, but only go there after having another conversation and if you’re incredibly comfortable with it. I think it’s important to make sure that you’re both only interested in the physical aspect and that there isn’t anything there emotionally. Don’t rush into it and think about it long and hard! Please make sure you’re safe if you choose to experiment.
Oloni
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28. July 2016
Hey Oloni, ok so I’ve been seeing this guy for three months and been on a date practically every week with him. He recently told me about his break up from his ex of 2 years on the phone and how they both booked a holiday for late August to Dubai before they broke up. He’s not sure if she’s still going but it sounded like he definitely wants to fly out then. He mentioned something about the trip being non-refundable and now I just don’t know how to feel. I like him, but what if she goes too? should I just be happy he was real with me? help
28. July 2016
I can see why this would bother you, and what I would say to this situation is not to take what you have with him too seriously especially IF he goes, because there is a huge chance she could meet him there also. I’m almost positive there are ways he can get at least some of his money back when it comes to flights but at the end this decision is up to him. The reason I expressed that you shouldn’t take this relationship too seriously is because there is a chance that there might be some unfinished business between him and his ex. It just sounds really dodgy.
Should you be happy he told you? Perhaps, but it doesn’t change the fact of what is going on. Either way it’s been 3 months of dating, speak up and tell him it makes you uncomfortable, but you appreciate his honesty.
Oloni
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