Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, I had an abortion during my first year of uni although I was on the pill. I still think about it and it’s something I’ll always remember.. Sometimes I just break down crying thinking back to it all amongst many other terrible things that happened at uni. No one knows about the abortion except the guy involved (we no longer talk) and one other girl. But still it’s like I have no one to confide in I really don’t know what to do, please advise me. 13. August 2016

Hey hun, if you ever want to talk I’m here! I would also recommend you get professional help and see a therapist or a counsellor. I’m so sorry to hear about how you’re feeling, but you must remember you will be okay. It’s fine to cry and think about it, you’re human. You went through something difficult and deserve all the support you can get. Please continue to stay strong ❤️

Oloni

Hey, Girl! I am 19 years old and am in a committed relationship with the father of my infant daughter. I love him very much but he was my first sexual experience and as we talk about marriage, the thought of him being the only one I have ever had sex with. I don’t want to cheat on him but I have a major lust problem! I crave sex with other men but not because I don’t love him I just need some new dick. Help! 13. August 2016

Hey girl, this a problem I’ve heard many times from women who have only been with one guy. They either feel inexperienced or just have lustful fantasies because they simply enjoy sex.

What you’re feeling is very common and also natural. I would suggest you pump your breaks on the marriage talk with him if this is where your head is at, stop rushing and ask yourself if you’re together because of your child or if there is more. Are you completely happy in your relationship or are you after more something else outside of it? If the answer is the latter then talk to him. If you’re in a commited relationship you have to let your partner know how you feel emotionally and sexually. The conversation might even help you both.

I will say this though, don’t go rushing into something you’re not truly ready for if you’re having these thoughts. It makes no sense.

Oloni

Hi Oloni. I’m an 18 year old girl who is really confused about my emotions. There’s a boy who I’ve been friends with for a long time and me and him talk everyday. He’s kind, flirty and most of all makes me feel beautiful. I fear that I am falling for him but the confusion comes to whenever he initiates us becoming more than friends, I begin to feel put off? I’m not sure about his feelings as he does talk to other girls and he is buff in general so he gets a lot of female attention? What do i do? 13. August 2016

You seem perplexed! Perhaps you like the idea of him, but don’t actually want him… However, I think you should spend more time with this guy so you can figure out what your heart truly wants. I wouldn’t worry about the other attention he gets, he’s single, remember that.

Oloni

Hi oloni, I really like this guy, but he’s one of my friends exes. The feelings are mutual, though. How do I tell my friend(s) about it without seeming insanely grimey? 13. August 2016

A friends ex is always off bounds. It’s the code everyone and their mama knows. If you do choose to act on it, just understand there’s a high chance you will lose your mate. Before you make a decision figure out who is more important. If you’re 1000% sure he’s worth it, explain how you feel to her before telling all your other friends. Do it over the phone or in person, not text!

Oloni

Hi Oloni, i am a virgin. When i masturbate I orgasm but I dont necessarily moan or pant but i definately do orgasm, will it be like this in sex too? I’m afraid that i wont have a great orgasm with my partner as Many others do. Thank you 13. August 2016

Hey hun, the thing with orgasms is that they come in a variety of different outbursts, different stages of excitement & certainly many body reactions. I always say that not all orgasm are identical but it’s not a fact. Unless you’re ready to have sex I wouldn’t worry too much as the real thing could have a total new reaction. Carry on learning more about your body and when you get to that stage of actual sexual intercourse see what happens then. You have nothing to worry about.

Oloni

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