@aggyabby
Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
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Sorry, I fell asleep
Hi Oloni, i am a virgin. When i masturbate I orgasm but I dont necessarily moan or pant but i definately do orgasm, will it be like this in sex too? I’m afraid that i wont have a great orgasm with my partner as Many others do. Thank you
13. August 2016
Hey hun, the thing with orgasms is that they come in a variety of different outbursts, different stages of excitement & certainly many body reactions. I always say that not all orgasm are identical but it’s not a fact. Unless you’re ready to have sex I wouldn’t worry too much as the real thing could have a total new reaction. Carry on learning more about your body and when you get to that stage of actual sexual intercourse see what happens then. You have nothing to worry about.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, a quick congratulations on all your success and your blue tick (go girl!) Anyway, I moved to a guy on Twitter and we have been texting, FaceTime dates both casual/sexual ones. We get along really well and he has even spoke about coming to the UK as he is from America and I have said the same to him. Recently he has been distant and he swears his phone is messed up (which fair enough he did tell me at the very beginning) anyway, I woke up feeling extra one day and double message him asking when I should book my ticket and he slyly shrugged it off? It gets all long now.. I’ve caught feelings. I’ve asked about the distant thing and he says it’s nothing and that he hasn’t “forgot” about me, but he’s sly flirting with other girls on Twitter? I hate coming off clingy, but I really want answers? What should I do?
13. August 2016
Thanks girl!! Okay, well it seems like he’s not as into you as you are with him. You were ready to BOOK a ticket & he started acting funny? That’s a red sign. I know you know so too, so don’t ignore it. Believe what he’s shown. His messed up phone isn’t an excuse to his reaction, back away before you fall in even deeper.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I’m a 30 year old woman with a good career. I’m independent in terms of providing for myself. The problem is that I haven’t had a boyfriend or any significant other since I was 16. It’s not that I don’t want to but men don’t want me to say the least. How do I change that? I’m tired of seeing all my friends get married and have kids etc.
9. August 2016
Hey girl, instead of focusing on finding a boyfriend. Why not focus on dating first? I’m glad that you have a good career and you’re independent, but what else do you bring to the table? List down what makes you amazing and why any guy would be lucky enough to date you. Also list down what you’re searching for in the opposite sex and become an active dater. After work find events to go to where you can meet other singles, use dating sites, apps.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, i recently did a hiv blood test after seeing an advert online. I really did the test out of curiosity as i have only had the vaginal sti check. I was sent a home kit which i did and sent back to the lab. They rang me to say i had a reactive results and that i should go to a gp/sexual clinic for a second confirmation test. I went and my results are back i have been asked to make an appointment to see my gp. I am nervous and have been stressed out because I was sexually abused by two of my cousins one of them his dad died of aids and he had a little sister with hiv. Im torn apart as i have only had one sexual partner beside my abusers. How do i tell my mum because right now i am just feeling suicidal. I would prefer if you dont make this a tl dilemma.
9. August 2016
Hey love, I’m really going to need to call me. email simplyoloni@gmail.com and I’ll send you my number. Please take it easy and remain as calm as possible.
Oloni
I was sexually abused as a child by my mothers husband. He abused both myself and my older sister who’s 8 years older and it went on for years. My family eventually found out what happened and there was a big fuss over it but that was it. He denied it, and like most family secrets it was swept under the rug and he stayed in the house and continued to abuse me. My mother then became pregnant with my younger sister and eventually due to something else, they divorced. Now, because they have a child together I’ve never been able to escape what he did to me. I’ve had to grow up seeing him and now even 17 years later aged 25 he is still around because of my sister. I sometimes come home and find him in the living room laughing with my mum and even eating. What hurts me the most isn’t what he did but how easily my family have forgiven him, forgotten what he did and expect me to do the same. My older sister left the house because of it and I haven’t seen or heard from her in 12 years. How can i heal when the person who ruined m childhood is still in my life?
9. August 2016
I can’t even begin to express my sadness right now. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, no one deserves to and the fact that your mother knew and never treated it seriously is also very hurtful. I wish there was something I could personally say or do, because I know this is very hard to handle. I really do think it would be wise you spoke to the police and perhaps seek some therapy.
I also think you need to have another conversation with your mother. I’m sure this is still at the back of her mind regardless of how hard she tries to fight it and act like it never happened. Remind her and if possible express how you truly feel. I understand she’s got a child with him, but that doesn’t matter he will never come before you. His actions and unforgivable you shouldn’t have to deal with this situation alone.
If you ever do need a chat email me simplyoloni@gmail.com
Oloni
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