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Hi Oloni, I have recently broken up with an ex of nearly three years and we had a roller coaster of a relationship. We went through so much emotionally and broke up several times but always managed to patch things up because we really loved each other. However this time I decided to start talking to other people when we broke up in an attempt to move on. It’s been about 2 months since me and my ex broke up and I am starting to really like the guy I am talking to. The only thing though is I do feel a bit guilty as though I am cheating on my ex as I’ve never attempted to move on after a “break up” with him. He still messages me now and again, but I don’t have the courage to tell him I am talking to someone else. What do I do?
21. August 2016
It’s really none of your ex’s business who you ‘talk’ to. If you want that guilt to go away stop messaging your ex-boyfriend and handle your break up properly by not speaking to each other and giving one another space.
It sounds like you don’t know what you truly want, but at this point you’re not ready to be on your own and need someone in the picture. If you’ve been in a hectic on and off relationship, jumping straight into another isn’t always a healthy option. You have healing to do and need to pick yourself up properly.
Oloni
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Hi Oloni, I’m starting uni this September and I want some advice on how to talk to boys. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, only ‘linked up’ with boys in the past. I usually get with guys outside of my school and this has triggered my friends to start calling me a lesbian behind my back. I know myself that I’m straight but it make other guys in my school stop talking to me after a while because they think that it’s true, especially because it’s coming from my so called friends. This has affected my confidence with talking to boys a bit but I just want things to be different in uni. Please help, thank you.
21. August 2016
Those aren’t friends, those are some nasty b*tches you need to cut off. Starting false rumours is hurtful end of. Anyway, I think you’re over thinking the whole ‘talk to boys’ thing and it’s understandable due to your past experience. When you start university, you’ll be very surprised by he amount of friends you make in the first week. This is because of Freshers Week and everyone being strangers to each other and are desperate to get to know new people and create friendships. Go to most the social gatherings, and everything will happen naturally.
Oloni
Hi Oloni , I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years now & as time goes by more and more girls are trying to move to me but the thing about me is that I’m terrible in those situations where a girl is pushing up on me or when a girl is in my dm’s or sending me stuff on snapchat , I don’t know how to say no if you get me , I don’t want to get tempted into doing something silly and ultimately breaking my girl’s heart because I do genuinely love her , what do I do ?
21. August 2016
Temptation will always be around, and women will always try to go after what they can’t have. I have no idea why lol. Anyway, the best thing to do is ignore, tell the it’ inappropriate and that you’re taken or simply delete them as a contact.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, i’ve been in a lowkey relationship with this guy for 8 months now we haven’t said we’re officially dating but he talks of the future, includes me in his plans, and even talks about taking trips! he’s not a lowkey person and he’s very known in my city and females tend to gravitate towards him. He’s very friendly and has many female friends which i’m fine with but an altercation happened with this one “friend” who has feelings for him and made it public she did and he did nothing about it. Also the only people who really know we have something are my friends and his close close friends and brother, he doesn’t post pictures of me or snapchats or anything when we’re together which is odd because he snaps basically his whole life! i’m not really concerned about the being showed on social media but it’s just odd i feel like i’m being hidden away. I just want to know if you think i should move on and forget him or try and work things out.
21. August 2016
I think you should have a conversation about it. If you’re not in a relationship, you shouldn’t be moved by what he does on his social media. Don’t commit to a guy who hasn’t committed to you girl.
Oloni
Hey Oloni I just want to know if this makes me a bad person, or a hoe. I lost my virginity at the age of 14 and I’m 22 I’ve been with 10 guys 3 of them being In a actual relationship with. 2 being one night stands, 4 on & off situationships, and the most recent guy I’m dealing with now. I feel like shit that it’s been 10 guys. It’s not that I just give it up, but you just find yourself in some situations & then next thing you know you gave apart of yourself to someone & things don’t work out. 10 is too much for me never saw myself here I don’t judge anyone else & I’m not asking to be judged. But I just really want to know if 10 guys make me look like a bad person or a hoe. Like I don’t consider myself a hoe because I do have self control just that I can fall short easily. Idk what I’m really looking for writing to you lol but I just wanted to ask and see ?
21. August 2016
Bless! Hun 10 or 50 guys is not an issue. As long as you’re having safe sex you have nothing to worry about. You’re 22 years old and grown, who you sleep with is your business, stop panicking. There is no real definition of hoe, it’s just a word used to police where a woman feels like placing her vagina. Have sex because you want to, not because of what anyone else has to say!
Oloni
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