Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi oloni, I’ve been with my girl for 4 months and feel like I like her more than she likes me, I’ve never had feelings for someone like this, she doesn’t like thinking about the future she has been in a long relationship before hand and wanted to congratulate ex on job promotion , I sometimes have bad spells where I overthink and say terrible things like on photos she posts and her last seen and stuff how can I make the relationship more happy again 15. September 2016

It sounds like you might be a bit insecure. Being in a relationship for 4 months is way too soon to feel these things. You should still be in your honeymoon stage! I do think you need to have a conversation with her and get this off your chest.

You mentioned that she’s been in a long term relationship, so talking about the future might be a bit much, it is still very early days. As for texting her ex, I can completely understand why that would make you feel uncomfortable. If you find her communicating with him more and more speak up and address it.

Make your relationship happy again by spending more time together and creating new fun loving experiences, but most importantly tackling your insecurities.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’ve been talking to this guy properly for about a month now but I’ve know him since Easter. However before I was still involved with my ex, so I didn’t really take him serious until recently since now me and my Ex have broken up for good and he has a new girlfriend and all that good stuff. Anyways I was wondering when do you think would be a good time to have sex with this guy, because my beliefs are kinda old school. Like I think you should a have sex once your boyfriend and girlfriend, but then I understand if it happens before that’s OKAY. But also I think if he’s already tried the good, why would he want to wifey you? Childish right lol. Let me know what you think 15. September 2016

Hey love, I think you should get to know this dude further before you think about jumping into the sack with him. Allow yourself to know more about his character and let the rest follow. I believe in having sex when you’re comfortable, for some that could be three weeks into a relationship of three months of dating and not exclusively. It all boils down to you.

One thing I will say is, if having sex in a relationship is for you, the stick to that, but don’t panic if it doesn’t turn out that way. A guy can pull a runner out of a relationship the same way he can inside one IF he’s just after sex.

Hope that helped.

Oloni

Hi oloni. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months. I spent this summer abroad, away from him for about 6 weeks. However 2 days into my holiday I got drunk and kissed my friend. My boyfriend said he knew it would happen because of the way I talk to this said friend as apparently I lead him on. Long story short he was able to forgive me and things were back to normal. However few weeks later I got drunk again and ended up cheating again. My boyfriend said he can’t trust me again and he broke up with me. I know what I did was wrong and I feel sick. I want to give him some space but he already said he’s losing all the love he ever had for me. Do you think there’s still a chance in the future of us getting back together or should I learn to let him go? 4. September 2016

Girl I feel like you want to be single. Let your ex go, he already gave you a chance and you messed up again.

Oloni

READ: Keeping Relationships When In A Relationship

I’ve been with my man for some months now and we just moved in together. He wants to split all the bills entirely but he makes way more than me. I don’t think it’s fair and not to sound like a princess but I’m used to guys spoiling me. He didn’t buy me anything for my bday because he was broke and now that he has this good job he still haven’t made it up to me. Idc Ima good woman but I hope him being cheap doesn’t ruin our relationship. 4. September 2016

It’s fine to have your expectations, but girl, if he didn’t get you a a missing eye teddy bear for your birthday, what made you think he’d handle most of the costs when moving in together? I’m sure you’ve always had an idea of your partners spending habits. Right now I think you need to have a conversation with him and if you can’t split the bills move out.

Oloni

Hey Oloni, congrats with everything! Now I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two years and it hasn’t been easy. He’s my first love and first everything. He has done things that have broken my trust for him and we’ve been working on building it back up. He use to be very considerate of my feelings about things and had always wanted my opinion about places he wanted to go to. Normally I would approve but some places make me very uncomfortable and I really don’t want him to go and he would accept my feelings towards it and not go. Recently, he’s doesn’t really care for my opinion and tells me he doesn’t care and he’ll still go and do whatever. He gets very upset and calls me controlling and manipulative making me upset. I don’t fully trust him and that’s the major issue with our relationship. Am I being controlling? 4. September 2016

I don’t think it’s fair to tell him where he can and can’t go, you can state how you feel about it, but that’s it. It’s then up to him to decide what he’ll do with the information. If he has hurt you recently it wouldn’t make sense for him to put you in a position that will make you even more uncomfortable.

I just think you both have a bit of talking to do. Your relationship seems quite intense and all over the place. If you’re working on things purely because he’s your first love, then you need to grow up and rethink this relationship. Commitments don’t work out just because you were each others first anything. If something is broken and can’t be fixed, let it go.

Oloni

Do you have a dilemma of your own? A break up you’re finding hard to get through? Unhappy with how your love life is going? Trust issues, dating troubles… do you need impartial advice and just someone who will simply listen?

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