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Hey Oloni, congrats with everything! Now I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two years and it hasn’t been easy. He’s my first love and first everything. He has done things that have broken my trust for him and we’ve been working on building it back up. He use to be very considerate of my feelings about things and had always wanted my opinion about places he wanted to go to. Normally I would approve but some places make me very uncomfortable and I really don’t want him to go and he would accept my feelings towards it and not go. Recently, he’s doesn’t really care for my opinion and tells me he doesn’t care and he’ll still go and do whatever. He gets very upset and calls me controlling and manipulative making me upset. I don’t fully trust him and that’s the major issue with our relationship. Am I being controlling?
4. September 2016
I don’t think it’s fair to tell him where he can and can’t go, you can state how you feel about it, but that’s it. It’s then up to him to decide what he’ll do with the information. If he has hurt you recently it wouldn’t make sense for him to put you in a position that will make you even more uncomfortable.
I just think you both have a bit of talking to do. Your relationship seems quite intense and all over the place. If you’re working on things purely because he’s your first love, then you need to grow up and rethink this relationship. Commitments don’t work out just because you were each others first anything. If something is broken and can’t be fixed, let it go.
Oloni
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4. September 2016
Hi Oloni. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Recently during arguments he has been calling me a fucking bitch and prick a lot. This is something that has never taken place before. I am on the verge of leaving him , am I overreacting or is this the right decision?
4. September 2016
A guy will only try what he thinks he’s going to get away with. You could give him a warning, then leave if it happens again or just end things.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we broke up because I found out he was messaging another girl, I also found out prior that he slept with someone else whilst we was together. We have recently reconciled and he has told me now he his serious about being together and that he his sorry about the past. I love him so much and want a future with him but don’t know if I should trust him or if he is being genuine, shall I give him another chance?
4. September 2016
Hey hun, that’s your coin to flip. I can’t tell you whether you should be with someone or not, but what I can do is ask, WHY? Why do you need to be with someone who has shown they can’t be loyal or faithful? Being apologetic doesn’t mean you need to be back together, but if you feel like you can move past it all and trust and forgive, then it’s your call.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, so i met this guy online and when we met up we clicked instantly. He knows I’m a virgin and knows i want to take it slow because of previous relationships. We’ve been to the theatre and loads of mini dates and i kissed him for the first time yesterday. The kiss was amazing, to the point where i could feel him get hard and when he started moaning i was wet (i know i know). He’s willing to take it slow as long as i’m comfortable but now I’m ready for him to be my boyfriend. It’s only been 4 weeks and I’m worried that this isn’t normal and we should get to know each other more. I am not seeing anyone else and he’s made it clear that i’m the only one, he’s told me that he knows I’m out of his league but he will fight for me cause he thinks I’m amazing. He’s also told me that he’s not looking for a fast relationship, he’s looking for something stable and founded in God. I know he sounds perfect and that’s what i’m worried about, is it going too fast? Should i get to know him more first? He sounds too perfect, checks all the boxes or am i too cautious? What should i do? Thanks x
4. September 2016
Hey hun, getchyo mannnnn. lol haha aww he sounds really sweet and grounded, but yes 4 weeks is incredibly too soon and not enough time to get to know ANYONE, so you don’t want to rush into anything just yet. It seems like you’re just really sprung and going through a honeymoon period. Good things don’t need to be rushed, carry on enjoying your mini dates, going to the theatre and getting to know him more.
Write back in another two months and let me know how things are going.
Oloni
xx
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