@aggyabby
Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
Grab a copy of The Big O: An empowering guide to loving, dating and f**king
Sorry, I fell asleep

Hi oloni, I’m 23, I liked this guy for a very long time and he was aware of this yet he kept on saying that he doesn’t do girlfriends. Well obviously I can’t just lose feelings for him so quickly. Meanwhile he tried to use my feelings for him to his advantage, saying we should link this and That, I wasn’t down for anything sexual cause he’s not my guy innit. Now I’ve been talking to this guy for a long time, only for me to find out he just recently got a girlfriend from an outside source, and at the same time trying to get with me, I’m beyond pissed. What should I do?
25. September 2016
He’s an assh*le, thank your lucky stars and move on.
Oloni
My boyfriend of almost a year is starting university soon. He’s been off with me since he got accepted and our relationship doesn’t feel the same. I fear that he may be tempted by girls at his uni because he usually gets a lot of female attention. What do i do? Do i just lock it off?
25. September 2016
Talk to him & tell your boyfriend that you’re worried.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. Me and my ex split couple months back cos I found out he was cheating. Obviously we split and didnt speak but for the past couple of weeks he’s been texting and calling me every now again asking how I am… like nothing has happened or even how much he hurt me, but Ive been stupid enough to pick up the calls and text back. Do you believe in second chances or is it better just to cut ties for my own sanity. We were in a long distant relationship btw.
25. September 2016
I personally don’t believe in second chances when it comes to cheating, but I also understand that relationships are very different for everyone. Howeverrr .. Your ex hasn’t even acknowledged what he did properly. No apologies, no ‘can we talk about this and meet up please?’ – He’s waiting for you to get over it so he can f*ck up again. You’re not stupid for replying, you clearly have a lot of love for this guy & expected more. You are allowed to tell him that you find it ridiculous that he hasn’t tried to speak about the elephant in the room.. Just remember actions speak louder than words, you shouldn’t have to remind him about his own mess. That’s my take anyway
Oloni
Hey, I’ve known a for almost 5 years now we was in a realtionship for atleast a year, I fell pregnant roughly around 17 for him, I new I had a future a head of me, he also agreed he wasn’t ready for child, so I got rid of it after I couldn’t stand him, I hated him and lock him off, a later we come across eachother at a party then back to square one of lovey Dovey, when I say we loved eachother so much it made me cringe, we was having sex like every 3 months when we had a chance to see eachother cause he was always busy, he basically became my fuck buddy, 5 years still going now we see eachother like every 6 months but we talk nearly everyday if I do decide to reply cause he is clearly wasting my time, I block him he still manages to get a new number and call me, he gets up set when he feels like I’m forgetting him, I don’t understand what he wants from me but all I know is I’m fed up, the one ex who I can’t leave alone and who can’t leave me alone, I don’t know what do, if I should cut him off completely and how to since I have a huge soft spot for him, help me every time I do cut him off he pops up and I can’t help myself, what should I do?
25. September 2016
Hey hun, you’ve definitely been on a rollercoaster ride with this guy & I think the only reason he returns is because he knows he can. You need to remove that power from him. None of this is fair or healthy… He’s toying with your emotions, your love and your time. You need to try harder to keep him away from you.. Example, if you feel like he’s going to be at a social gathering don’t go. I’m saying this to help you and due to one of the times that made you rekindle your on and off relationship. Another thing you could do and something I’m very for, is to perhaps get a new number since he tries everyway possible to get in contact with you. Don’t let him waste anymore of your time, you’re worth more.
I hope I’ve been able to help. Stay strong.
Oloni
x
Hi Oloni, I’m a 19 y/o girl and I’ve been in a “f*ck buddy” situation with a 24 y/o guy for a year now. Recently out of nowhere I’ve started to have feelings for him. Even the little things he says (during, before or after sex) like “You’re so beautiful” or “You’re all mine” I’m paying extra attention to and makes me feel gushy inside, even though I know it’s probably just light hearted chit chat that he spurts out when he’s thinking with his penis. The thing is, I really don’t know much about him. Since the day we met, it’s been strictly sex so all I really know is his name, age and location. He is kinda secretive with his personal details/life like he doesn’t want me to know too much about him, and reiterates that he wants our “situation” to be kept between us. Basically I get the vibe that he doesn’t see me as anything more than “a girl to have great sex with”. Should I tell him how I feel, keep suffering in silence or leave him alone now before it gets messy? Help me please. Thank you x
25. September 2016
Hey sis! I’ve been in a similar situation once when I was your age, so I understand. I don’t think there’s any harm in telling him how you’re starting to feel, as long as you don’t expect him to start taking you out on several dates right after. If you express what’s on your mind and in your heart at least he knows, what’s up.. But if he doesn’t feel the same, it’s time to take a bow, thank him for the great sex and leave. Once emotions are on the table, we start looking into everything a guy does. If he holds and cuddles you after sex, we see it as something more. If he says ‘text me when you’re home’ we’ll create a new meaning behind it. Friends with benefits is a fun way to enjoy sex, however, once you notice a change behind the initial reason as to why you signed up to it, it’s time to move on.
Oloni
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!