@aggyabby
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Sorry, I fell asleep
Hey girl, this is a question I’ve been meaning to ask. Say for example I’ve got a bf and we are in a good healthy relationship, how close should my friends be with my other half. My friends think I’m being shady for not letting my bf have their number and hang out etc etc but I don’t see the point of them exchanging words every other day there should be a distance
28. September 2016
Your friends are annoying and need their own love life. Ignore them please. Your boyfriend does not need to be friends with your circle. Meet ups together on occasions is cool, but I believe a relationship works better when everyone does their own thing.
Oloni
Hi oloni, there’s a fellow business associate that I have gradually developed a crush over in the last 6-8 months. Whenever I see her and talk to her I always get goosebumps. I’m not sure if she’s feeling the same attraction because she calls me nicknames and we tend to smile at each other when we get the chance. That makes question if she feeling the same. I need to find answers. How do I go about finding my answers if she feels the same way?
28. September 2016
Hi oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now. I’m really thinking of leaving him because he is dispassionate ( expects messages first and won’t message for days or a week if I haven’t messaged by then , no surprises , nothing loving ) but he tells me it’s not needed when I “already know” . We’ve spoken about this few times and nothing changes . Yoruba men hey, what should I do, I put in 80% of the effort. Do I leave or ?
25. September 2016
If he’s not making you happy find someone who will.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for a year next month. A year doesn’t usually sound too long but when I tell you I feel like I’ve known this boy my whole life. We’ve been through so much in the past year, even lived together and I now work alongside his mum. 4 months into the beginning of our relationship he slept with someone, we had a break for about 3 weeks and I then decided to try and work it through with him. Things got tough and we argued a lot because of my paranoia which he had caused. One night I went out after we argued and I kissed several guys in a club, I went out again the next day and kissed a guy I had been seeing a while ago, 20 minutes after I met with my boyfriend and acted like everything was cool until a week later I told him, we again tried to work it through. It’s been 4 months since that happened and I thought we’d never been happier until he went to uni last week and kissed another girl 4 nights into his freshers. I’m absolutely heartbroken because this time round he had no underlying issue to want to cheat on me, we were genuinely happy. He told me I’m too clingy and said the only reason he has to go the extra mile of being nice to me is so I don’t get upset, he said he’s tired of it happening and he doesn’t know if we should break up and remain good friends or if we should work again on it. It’s a long distance relationship now he’s moved over 2 hours away and as much as I want it to work, am I being mugged off?
25. September 2016
Girl, you both need to end this. Relationships are not a must have if neither of you can’t stay commited.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, how are you? I’ve been in a long term relationship for almost two years now in which my man made it clear within the first 6 months that he wanted me to be his wife. However, we come from two different places. He admitted he was basically a hoe throughout his life and treated girls horribly (although he’s always been lovely to me). And I grew up as a complete prude and lost my virginity in my twenties and only had males as friends. It was quite apparent at the start of our relationship that he had trust issues which he explained came from fucking around with married girls, girls in a relationships etc. But he learned to trust me. On the other hand, I trusted him blindly at the beginning and now have major trust issues with him. After he enforced all these rules such as no male friends etc and made me cut off very good friends, I have caught him speaking to various females. Once he even messaged Hella girls on IG for their snaps and deleted the evidence because he was “mad” and wanted to make me jealous – but he deleted the evidence so how does that make sense? (An IG update exposed him.) Recently a colleague who once called him up for sex talk posted IG pics of them both enjoying the sun on their break and he was SMILING lmao, the same guy who makes me feel uncomfortable because he’s cussing her out at every opportunity. He tried to deny, unaware of the pics on the tl. Amongst various other incidents. Anyway, now he is talking serious marriage but I cannot see a future with a guy who is hypocritical and cannot follow his own rules. I haven’t mentioned this to him but I also had a close friend message him at the Peak of my distrust. And after entertaining her, next day he popped up asking for her Snapchat which she ignored because she wasn’t willing to go that far. I have yet to tell him of this. I’m torn because if I hadn’t come across all of these damning things he does secretely I’d honestly think he was perfect. How should I tell him I have zero trust? Ain’t nobody tryna marry a man who suggests swapping phone passwords like its a big deal and then you notice never leaves their phone unattended, even when pissing after sex!! He is dodgy and defensive and quite frankly I’m not sure what to do because the only other relationship I was in was so chilled. The complete opposite. Never had trust issues and never even thought twice about using each others phones. I feel like this relationship has turned me into those paranoid investigative girls you always see on memes smh. Help me sis. Thank you x
25. September 2016
Oh wow! Girl, I don’t know where to begin.. But I do know this relationship might need to end. He’s controlling and clearly can’t be trusted. Your boyfriend wants you to be loyal, but feels no way about being disloyal to you. I think he uses the marriage line to keep you from running the opposite way, because he’s aware of how amazing YOU are and doesn’t want to lose you.. He has it in his head, that marriage is a prize, because society has shown that a wedding ring means you’ve won.. But anyway, that’s not how a relationship works. He’s messaging random women and deleting messages? That’s sketchy. You only delete, what you don’t want to have a discussion about.
His idea of a relationship is very warped and if you carry on in it, there’s a high chance you’ll have even bigger trust issues, which can damage your next relationship. He’s behaving like a baby boy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated since he can’t even own up to the clear evidence you’ve seen in black and white.
I feel like you deserve way more than a guy who is going to embarrass you, by entertaining other women.
Oloni
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