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Hey Oloni, I’ve been with my partner for over 2 years now. We’ve been through “a lot” and our live has been tested . I could say we are in a ok space right now. I have asked my partner couple of times on what are his future plans for the 2 years and all I ever seem to get is “I no longer plan things” I just take life as it is. But I said in life “you can’t walk with your eyes closed” . When I asked about taking our relationship more serious he said “he’s still young, wants to enjoy his life” (coming from a 25 year old) I just don’t understand he doesn’t want to be single but he also wants to spend time with his friends. I just constantly feel like I’m in battle to see him and when I tell him , he says I should stop complaining. I don’t want to end things because our relation has great potential but I don’t want to be in the same position as I am now in 2-5 years because progression is key. Can you advice me on things I could say to him to make him buckle up and take US seriously?
1. August 2016
Hey hun, there is nothing in this world that you and I can tell a grown man when it comes to taking a relationship seriously. If I’m honest you’re no better than him, because you’re not listening to what he’s told you. If he has explained how he feels about the relationship, believe him and decide what YOU will do, stay and deal with the things you’re unhappy with, or leave and start something with someone who wants all the things you do.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I have been talking to a guy for about 4months now and we have been sleeping together but he is still very flirty and sexually suggestive towards other girls on social media. He makes empty promises about taking me out on a date and always has some excuse but always wants to ‘chill’. I just need advice to see if I should have the ‘talk’ with him to see where this is going or if I should just drift because it seems like he is wasting my time.
28. July 2016
You’ve been talking for 4 months and haven’t even seen the inside of TGI’s? But here he is flirting with other women even though he’s sleeping with you… FOUR MONTHS?
Gurl.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, ive cheated on my boyfriend twice with my ex and I really dont know what to do. Ive been with this guy for nearly a year and I care about him a lot but the way he treats me makes me really doubt our relationship sometimes. He doesnt pay me enough attention and sometimes he goes days without talking to me, i just dont really feel special or important to him at all. I have told him on many occasions how bad he makes me feel but he always makes out that im moaning at things for no reason and im just being petty so whats the point? Although Ive only kissed my ex in the 2 times i’ve cheated, sometimes I find myself resenting the fact that im not with him anymore. Im so confused about how I feel because my boyfriend isnt always such a dickhead lol, but when he is I just wish i was with my ex instead. My ex and my boyfriend are mutual friends so im scared about what will happen if i told my boyfriend the truth. What should I do?
28. July 2016
Hun what are you doing? If you’re not happy and find yourself jumping elsewhere for attention, why not leave? You’re disrespecting yourself and your relationship. He hasn’t kidnapped you and forced you to stay so what is the problem? if you rather be with someone else do that and make yourself happy.
I will say one thing though you need to be honest and tell him, cheating really is cheating and it could get really messy if he finds out through the grapevine.
Oloni
Hi Oloni I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He’s great. Never given me a reason to doubt his loyalty. He recently started a new job and has a few new friends from there which I think is cool. However, there’s one particular colleague that has started subtly moving to him in his dms (we’re logged onto each other’s twitter accounts). I’ve never had a problem with him being friends with girls but this one obviously wants more. She’s even requesting for him to buy things for her. I don’t want him to think I’m spying on him or don’t trust him but I really don’t want him to entertain her anymore. Should I just tell him regardless of how petty it makes me look?
28. July 2016
It doesn’t make you look petty. Another woman outside of family has no business asking your partner to buy her a damn thing. Communicate with him and tell him what you saw and how it made you feel. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying ‘Hey babe, I came across a message from your co-worker and it made be uncomfortable when I saw her asking for xyz…’
Hi Oloni, me and my bestfriend at uni are really close and are so open, especially about sex. She mentioned the other day that at some point she’d love if we slept together as we both want to try lesbian sex. I think it’s a great idea but I also am fearful of it perhaps putting an awkward dent in our friendship, do you have any advice? Thanks! Xx
28. July 2016
Hey hun it’s great you both want to explore your sexuality, but only go there after having another conversation and if you’re incredibly comfortable with it. I think it’s important to make sure that you’re both only interested in the physical aspect and that there isn’t anything there emotionally. Don’t rush into it and think about it long and hard! Please make sure you’re safe if you choose to experiment.
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