Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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I was sexually abused as a child by my mothers husband. He abused both myself and my older sister who’s 8 years older and it went on for years. My family eventually found out what happened and there was a big fuss over it but that was it. He denied it, and like most family secrets it was swept under the rug and he stayed in the house and continued to abuse me. My mother then became pregnant with my younger sister and eventually due to something else, they divorced. Now, because they have a child together I’ve never been able to escape what he did to me. I’ve had to grow up seeing him and now even 17 years later aged 25 he is still around because of my sister. I sometimes come home and find him in the living room laughing with my mum and even eating. What hurts me the most isn’t what he did but how easily my family have forgiven him, forgotten what he did and expect me to do the same. My older sister left the house because of it and I haven’t seen or heard from her in 12 years. How can i heal when the person who ruined m childhood is still in my life? 9. August 2016

I can’t even begin to express my sadness right now. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, no one deserves to and the fact that your mother knew and never treated it seriously is also very hurtful. I wish there was something I could personally say or do, because I know this is very hard to handle. I really do think it would be wise you spoke to the police and perhaps seek some therapy.

I also think you need to have another conversation with your mother. I’m sure this is still at the back of her mind regardless of how hard she tries to fight it and act like it never happened. Remind her and if possible express how you truly feel. I understand she’s got a child with him, but that doesn’t matter he will never come before you. His actions and unforgivable you shouldn’t have to deal with this situation alone.

If you ever do need a chat email me simplyoloni@gmail.com

Oloni

Hi Oloni, basically i think i’m sexually attracted to my cousin. I mean this in the sense that the thought of having sex with him has never crossed my mind, but more like I like the idea of being physically close/touchy with him. I feel pretty guilty about thinking this way even thougb i’m 100 sure he feels the same way. What to do? 9. August 2016

Heya, if I’m completely honest, I think you should spend less time with your cousin in case you do something you regret. Having the thoughts then acting on it are two separate things, but you must understand that if you take it there nothing positive will come from it.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’m no where near a virgin but for some reason with my new boyfriend we’ve had sex twice and I’ve bled each time. I know you’re not a doctor but have you heard anything of the sort before? 9. August 2016

Hey hun, I have. Don’t worry it is a thing but go and see a doctor or a sexual health nurse.

Hi Oloni, I just need to be clear on something. I have a boyfriend and sex with him is AMAZING!!! He goes down on me everytime…I mean he is always glad to give me head because that’s the only way I can cum. Now my problem is he is the first guy I have actually enjoyed oral sex with. I have never given head to my past lovers (I really don’t like it) and I shy away from them giving it too. I suck at giving head like i can’t give head to save my life. (LOL) Anyway my boyfriend said he isn’t ‘freaked’ by it (Blow job) but most times I feel bad when we have sex and we are willing to go another round but the D is still limp and I know giving head would actually help but I cant?. I have tried most times and he knows I try but I just feel I’m being selfish by not being able to give him head. I mean is there a guy that doesn’t like to receive head? He does not seem to be bothered tho…So what do you think? Do you think I should just stop trying and not be bbothered since he claims he isn’t? 1. August 2016

Hey dear! I love the fact that you’re genuinely trying even though your partner isn’t bothered. If you don’t like something then you don’t like it. However, if you want to practice and try on different occasions I would suggest adding something to the mix to make it more enjoyable… like flavoured lube. You can get it from any adult store. All you do slather the lube on his penis and give him head with it on, only it tastes really great and makes it more enjoyable for you. This is jut a suggestion not something you HAVE to do. Either way good luck!

Oloni

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Didn’t realise you didn’t answer advice on curious cat (my bad) so reposting here haha. What’s your advice to someone in their early 20’s that hasn’t been in a relationship before? Pretty much everyone around me is boo’d up and it’s always been this way… Idk, it’s hard to not think that there’s something wrong with you and that you’re gonna stay alone forever ? I mean I say I “don’t do relationships” but I guess it’s cause I’ve never had one and now it just looks kinda scary and so foreign but I lowkey wonder if that makes sense? 1. August 2016

Hey hun, calm down! Plenty of folks are in relationships with single people so stop going crazy. It’s okay to say, ‘I’m ready to be in a relationship’ there’s nothing wrong with it at all. My advice is to work on YOURSELF work on being the best version, so you know what you have to offer. Try to date more, go to new places to meet new people, use dating apps, go to different social events, follow new people on social media. EXERCISE the art of dating and you’ll see a drastic change in your love life.

Oloni

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