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Hi Oloni, I’ve been in relationship with my girl for 10 months I’m 26 and she’s 21 and I’m her first relationship and sexual experience. I love being around her and she makes me feel so blessed that I have her in my life she’s really special. The problem which may sound small is that she hasn’t told her friends about me, her mum/dad/siblings know but that’s it. She also doesn’t post any pictures or snapchats when she’s with me which is very weird because she’s the type of person that snaps everything and loves to share what’s going on in her life, she struggles to keep things inside and loves to share good news. Im not saying I want her to showcase me because really I’m not fussed tbh I’m just a bit confused as to why someone so public would shy away from letting her friends now about me and our relationship so low key when she is not a low key person. I’ve mentioned it and she’s just brushed it off I feel like there’s more to it but have no idea how to get it out of her.
17. August 2016
Hey hun, I think you should seriously turn around and ask ‘what’s up?’ I find it strange when people share every bit of their life but without their partner, however your relationship is 10 months and she probably may want to keep it private. Either way talk and communicate!
Hey oloni, I was with a guy for 8 months & he was my first boyfriend. A few months ago we broke up because he put his hands on me, he didn’t hit me, but he was very rough especially when it wasn’t my fault. We spilt, he sincerely apologised & we moved on. Then recently, we’ve spilt again because I found out he brought his ex to his house (he said he hasn’t cheated), he told his other ex that he misses her (she’s been a recurring issue this whole relationship) & was messaging girls inappropriately. He now swears that he’s cut them all off because he realises that he ‘loves’ me. He can be manipulative/ controlling aswell. I’ve been told that I can do so much better but no one has taken care of me like he has. It’s just weird because his mum knows about me, he treats me well apart from those things & he gave me the keys to his apartment. So I don’t get it. Maybe he’s just not ready? I’m stuck between waiting to see if things will get better or that he might not be the one.
17. August 2016
You need to leave this guy alone. End of.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, Basically i have a situation, well it’s not really a situation but me being denied my right. Last year i had a drunken three some with Guy A (Host in the rave industry and he also does party island holiday packages,) and Guy B (UK Rapper) and from this i got pregnant. At first when i told them i was pregnant Guy A said he will do a dna test when it comes down to it whilst Guy B said i was dead to him if i didnt have an abortion which I refused to. I am now approaching my due date and have asked Guy A to do a dna test who has now said he is probably not the father as within that week i had continuous sex with Guy B which he knew of from the beginning. So he has now refused to do a dna test. I messaged Guy B who blocked me straight on the only means of contact i had for him as he has already blocked me on everything else. I know it was irresponsible of me to have unprotected sex with 2 guys and i have owned it but i just don’t understand why they are refusing the dna test. I have already told both of them that even if they still don’t want to be involved after knowing who the dad is i am cool with that but my child even for (God Forbid) a health issue deserves to know who the dad is. Am i wrong for expecting a dna test? You can put this up on twitter. I know some people will probably be mean with their responses but i already expect it. Thanks.
17. August 2016
Hey hun, I’m glad you’ve realised the error that was made, safe sex should always come first especially in these type of cases. This is such a tough one because the guys who participated refuse to take a DNA test, which shows they’re clearly trying to run away from a huge responsibility, and that isn’t fair on you. I think you really need to take this further and offer them both a last chance to take the test on their own. If that fails, then you can ask a court to accept your claim about who someone’s parents are. See this link for more info https://www.gov.uk/get-dna-test
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I met this really great gut early this year. He’s so bomb and so cool. We got really close and after a few months we had sex and he’s my first. We are still really tight but we didn’t make it official. Now he’s saying he’s going to be away for about six months in another state and he doesn’t think he can do long distance. We hardly fight or quarrel but when we do we settle immediately. I’ve tried my best to convince him that we could still work out but he’s saying he doesn’t think he could cope. I really love him and I just can’t let him go cos of this minor issue. Please what can I do to make him stay in it? I can’t lose him tbh
16. August 2016
Oh hun! You can’t make a man stay where he doesn’t want to, I think from his point it might have just been ‘it was great while it lasted’ and nothing more. He has been honest and explained he wouldn’t be able to settle for LD. Respect it and move on.
Oloni
hi oloni I love your blog btw , my boyfriend recently found out he had an sti and he gave it to me. Suddenly I accused him of cheating which is the obvious reason since we were having unprotected sex for 8 months and when I got checked mid way through our relationship I was clean so. However he claims he did not cheat and probably got it before me as he was on and off with another girl and I was a virgin when I met him. I don’t know what to do now he did tell me that this would never happen again but should I leave him?
16. August 2016
So it’s obvious he cheated. He also put your health at risk and you need to understand that STI’s are not a joke. I think you should give yourself some time from the relationship then decide what you want.
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