Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
My boyfriend makes me feel bad about my past and blames me for all our arguments. Anything small I do is the biggest thing to him and I don’t know what to do.
14. November 2016
Why are you still with him if he makes you feel all these things? Either have a conversation about it, or be done. Relationships are not a must have.
Oloni
Hey oloni, before I ask my question. I proper love what you do! Thank you for giving black women a platform to talk sex and relationships. I love my boyfriend and we’ve been together for a year. Whenever we have sex it hurts me. Yes, he’s dick is big but it really hurts. Not sure if I’m too tight? Or whether I need to practices with a dildo. We’re only “active” once a week because when we see eachother. I really hope u can help. Yesterday we had sex and it was so gd because he was gentle with it but it really hurts
14. November 2016
Hey girl, thanks for your awesome words!! Right, there could be a number of reasons as to why it hurts. I’m going to take a guess and assume the foreplay before penetration might not be enough, so make sure you’re kissing, fondling, enjoying oral sex before getting down to it. You have to give your body a chance to prepare for sex, if you know what I mean.
You could also try popping down to an adult store and purchasing a water based lubricant. This makes intimacy feel A LOT more better, as you’re more unlikely to feel any pain.
If none of the above work see a gynaecologist!
Oloni
Hi Oloni, So my ex of 3 and a half years keeps reaching out to me, but he has girlfriend. She is completely oblivious to the fact that he keeps messaging me. Now he was probably the love of my life but I found out he cheated on me with her. (I dont know whether she knew about me) We bump into each other now and then he gets very flustered around me, (hes normally a very composed guy) Should I tell her “woman to woman” or should I leave it and let karma do its work.
14. November 2016
Leave it, he’s no longer your concern.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now and at the beginning he was quite broke and I wouldn’t complain I would help. I was very supportive As I know men can get disheartened when they feel as though they can’t provide. I always payed on dates and stuff and he would when he could . He’s recently been employed and now he’s forgotten all I’ve done for him when he was unemployed. Basically he’s just very stingy with his money now that he has it when I was never like that towards him. What should I do???
14. November 2016
Eeek! What a pickle. First, remember when you do favours for people never expect anything back because that’s called business, not a favour love.
However your frustration makes sense, being stingy is such a nasty trait and one you need to talk to him about. Express how some of his recent actions have made you feel, but don’t come with an angle of ‘When your ass was broke, who fed you?’ – lol. Approach him off the fact that needs to not be so tight as it’s very off putting for any woman.
If he still carries on and you don’t notice an effort of change being made, it then becomes your decision to stay or not.
Good luck
Oloni
x
Hey Oloni! In Sep i told you about this guy i met online and how we kept going on mini dates and kissing and stuff! Today officially marks our 2 month anniversary and we’re still in the early stages but we get along soooo well. He’s come and visit me at uni and we talk every day, we get along sooooo well. I have doubted the relationship because we’re so different but it works somehow, i just wanted to say thank you so much for your message and the fact that you take time to answer these dilemmas and make blog posts. He’s taking me to one of the igloo dining spheres that have popped up near the thames next month. I’ll tell you how it goes xx
14. November 2016
Aww this message brightened up my evening. I actually remember you writing in too. Thank you for your lovely words and I’m glad to hear it worked out well! Please do keep me updated
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