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I haven’t had sex yet with my boyfriend because I promised myself I wouldn’t do so till marriage but I don’t think my boyfriend can hold out much longer and I can’t go back on my promise. What should I do? 22. November 2016

Have a conversation with him and tell him what’s going through your head.

Oloni


Ive been dating this guy for 2 months now. At the beginning i found out he gave me an std,but since it wasn’t really a serious case I forgave him. Now fast forward to now, he has gotten me pregnant. We both agreed it was best to not keep the baby, but as soon as i brought money he went ghost on me. Doesn’t respond to me at all. What should I do? I don’t want to pay for this abortion on my own and I dont want to have a baby rn, I’m only 21 and I’m still in college. I’ve been asking around for help but havent had any luck. 22. November 2016

Wow! Hey hun, I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through, especially on your own. Right now I’d tell you not to focus on the guy you were dating because he sounds irresponsible and very insensitive, especially for ghosting out on you like that. I’m guessing you’re from the States so did some research on what you can do in terms of money.

Depending on how far gone you are the cost does vary, however you can find a clinic that will allow you to set up a payment plan, instead of paying the whole sum at once. Another option is to find a city that has an abortion fund. Abortion funds is a group that has been set up to help women who can’t afford the procedure. Read more here

I hope you get all the help you need! Make sure you do more research and speak to someone you trust who can guide and give you that emotional support.

Oloni


Hi oloni, It was my baby shower last week and I was telling my friends in conversation that I hope my babies are “caramel” as I love that skin tone but knowing my lighter skin complexion and my husbands who is white our babies would most likely be on the paler mix raced side . I didn’t know my mother in law was listening and tbh I didn’t care she was. She went to my husband’s sisters and aunts and told them I was making racist remarks and how I would be “displeased” if my children carried their family traits and looked white. Which was a bloody reach and a half. My in laws now won’t speak to me or act shifty around me as I am anti-white lol and my husband feels I should apologise to keep his family at bay which I have refused causing conflict in our marriage and also our parenting as we agreed months ago to give our kids traditional Yoruba names which he agreed but now he feels the names don’t ‘flow’. Was I wrong to stand my ground considering we are family? Should I apologise ? marriage with a WM, I hate to refer to my marriage as interracial in this day and age but it’s relevant to my dilemma. 14. November 2016

Oh lord! Now this, this is a dilemma and a half.

I personally do not think you’ve done anything wrong. You expressed that you’d want your child to have a similar complexion to you, which you’re allowed to do. What mother doesn’t want their child to resemble them?

The thing is, a lot of time, the opposite of what you were talking about with your friends is more glamourised –  something they’re probably too ignorant to understand (in terms of having a darker skinned child) – I seriously believe his in laws are looking for a reason to be mad and feel discriminated against and this triggered them.

Your husband needs to remember YOU’RE carrying his child and sharing his last name, so unless you have blatantly disrespected his family this is a battle he needs to put to rest.

As for names? You’re going to have have a conversation about that and come to some sort of compromise.

Oloni

READ: Should You Keep Dating A Guy You Are Not Sexually Compatible With?

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Hi Oloni, my best friend is getting married tomorrow but i just found out hes fiance who he has kids with has been cheating on him with multiple men, what should i do? 14. November 2016

Tell him? He’s your best friend.

Oloni


My boyfriend makes me feel bad about my past and blames me for all our arguments. Anything small I do is the biggest thing to him and I don’t know what to do. 14. November 2016

Why are you still with him if he makes you feel all these things? Either have a conversation about it, or be done. Relationships are not a must have.

Oloni


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