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Hi Oloni! I have a mad dilemma. Been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I’ve made a huge mistake of cheating on him with my ex. It’s driving me insane and I feel horrible that I have kept this in for so long and I’m not sure what to do. I really love my boyfriend but I keep making mistakes. What should I do?
26. September 2017
Tell him and break up.
Oloni
Dear Oloni: I’ve been in a relationship with a man for 8 years, we’ve been married 3 of those 8 years. Shortly after getting married I started questioning everything in my life, to the point of wondering about monogamy and heterosexuality. I cheated on my husband, with a female friend. I feel guilty but I can’t help but notice that I actually REALLY enjoy having sex with women and not so much with my husband. We haven’t had sex in months because I simply don’t want to. I still care about him and I love him deeply, but I don’t know if I can keep a relationship where I don’t want to have sex with him at all. I’d appreciate your help with this.
26. September 2017
Hey love, woah! The only thing I can advise, is for you to talk to him and let him know about the decision you made as well as your sexuality.
As your husband, he deserves to know the truth instead of being left in the dark.
Oloni
Hi oloni, so I tell my best friend everything that goes on in my life, from uni, work, family life boyfriends etc. Me and my BF have been dating for 8 months and things have been great. Except when we have sex he doesn’t last very long and his libido is low so we don’t have sex as much as I won’t to. I’m a crybaby and shy but my best friend is really confident and doesn’t take shit. So long story short we were all at a house party and I got into an argument with my boyfriend which just spiralled and I ended walking away crying. My best friend was super drunk and when she saw me crying started cussing out my boyfriend in front of everyone at the party. She told everyone(I dunno why) that he’s a fuckboy and he’s shit in bed and cums in 30 seconds, amongst other things. My BF was a laughing stock at the party and it was all over people’s snapchats. I didn’t even know this was happening as I was upstairs upset in the toilet and Music was playing. He’s really mad at me and we haven’t spoken in a few days. I tried to reach out to him but no response. I really don’t know what to do because I feel like I can no longer trust my friend and I’ve lost my boyfriend. What am I supposed to do to fix this?
26. September 2017
Oooh! If I’m honest I doubt there’s any coming back from this. Men can be very prideful and insecure to what they’re like in bed.
It’s embarassing and uncomfortable. Perhaps give him some time then reach out? In future, be very careful with what you share with your friends.
Being drunk isn’t an excuse to disrespect your exboyfriend.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I’m English and my BF is Nigerian. We’ve been going out for 4 years and things have been amazing. My issue is his mother really doesn’t like me. I’ve met everyone in his family, his dad and siblings really like me me but his mum doesn’t. It’s even gotten to the point where I feel super uncomfortable just going to his house. I grew up in peckham so I’ve been around nigerians(Yorubas) all my life. I know how to cook all his favourite dishes and I even speak better yoruba than him lol (my neighbour forced me and her grandkids to learn it lol). So I thought we could maybe just at least connect on that basis but nothing I do seems to work. I just want to have a good relationship with them, I told my boyfriend about this but he doesn’t seem to be working on it which is also really frustrating. Any advice on what you think I could do?
26. September 2017
I think it’s beautiful you want to embrace his culture! You NEED to speak to your boyfriend, have a firm conversation again explaining why it bothers you.
If he doesn’t help, talk to his mum directly in privacy and tell her you feel. Hopefully this way, you’ll be able to clear the air.
Good luck
Oloni
Do you think its disrespectful if someone you’ve been in a relationship with for two years asks you for a threesome (on more than occasion)
26. September 2017
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