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Sorry, I fell asleep
Hi oloni so I recently found out that the guy I’ve been seeing has been seeing someone else the entire time we were together. It was ongoing for 9 months; I recently found out I was pregnant and I’m already a single mum. I don’t want to have his baby; I can’t put myself through what I’ve already been through. Should I even tell him? It’s my choice st the end of the day but it’s his child also. Any advice?
24. September 2017
Hey love, thanks for contacting me.
I think you should let him know, despite the fact he was seeing someone else.. you weren’t mutually exclusive.
I understand that you’re in a tough situation, but please consider it.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I met this boy a few years ago (he has been in a relationship ever since) and we hit it off straight away. We’ve always been good friends but with crazy sexual chemistry. We slept together and we decided we shouldn’t talk after that. That didn’t go to plan and we’ve been messaging every day and it seems we’ve grown even closer. His girlfriend doesn’t know what’s happened. It appears he likes me but he’s saying he’s now got relationship problems but he feels he’s in too deep. I would like to see how things would romantically develop between us but I don’t think he’ll ever break up with his girlfriend. Either way I don’t want to lose him as a friend. What shall I do? X
24. September 2017
You need to find someone who is available and not one who’s commited. It’s wrong. If he wanted to be with you, he would have left.. but guess what? He’s still with his girlfriend.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I have a friend who I’ve just recently met over like the last 2 months. He’s been living with his ex (age 30 he’s 23) but there’s nothing sexual going on. They’re sleeping in the same bed and she’s in a relationship. The only thing is I’ve noticed about their ‘companionship’ is that she’s really quite manipulating and dominating towards him. For example he’ll be round mine and she’ll call him saying he needs to come home because she needs the key and she’ll be abusive about it. It’s not even a situation where he can drop the key and come back as she’ll go out again and leave him outside so he’ll have to stay wherever he is till she’s done. I’ve had a word with him about moving out but he says God is control of his life. What’s even worse is that she’s the manager and has employed him. I see the way he gets annoyed she disrespects him in front of people is more a dog on leash situation. He doesn’t seem to see it this way he says it’s the will of God that gives him his strength to withstand her. I can’t help but feel that he uses Christianity as an excuse to be lazy? Also this guy is white so it’s unusual for me to see such a devout Christian behaving this way. Should I keep telling him to move out? I’m getting bored of making plans with him and then being cut short because she’s annoyed he’s out? I’m beginning to think it’s directed at me? What shall I do?
24. September 2017
Hey oloni, love your work ! Basically I’m head over heels in love with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for just over a year now and are looking at putting a deposit on a house. However, whenever he goes out with his boys or with his colleagues I get intensely paranoid that he’s going to do the dirty despite having NO reason to believe he would. Thought this would go after a few months but this fear only seems to have grown. On the other hand he’s completely (and rightly) trusting when I go out without him. Is this unusual/what should I do without coming off as loopy as fuck?! Thanks in advance!
24. September 2017
You need to be honest and have a conversation with him. Perhaps something in a past relationship triggered this fear? You’re about to take a huge step with him, so make sure it’s discussed first.
Oloni
Dear Oloni. I was on my Mans phone trying to find the app which you can watch TV shows on, I went to his updates and then clicked ‘purchased’ section where you can see all apps downloaded and I noticed he had ‘Grindr’ quite far down which is an app for gay men to hook up? I was so confused I had to run my eyes. When he came back Into the room I just casually asked why he had that app is his purchase history laughing. He was like oh my boy must have done it for banter. (He grew up in South and his boys are all good) So I asked which boy then he changed his story to his colleague did it. When I asked why he said it was so long ago he couldn’t even remember and switched it to why I was looking through his purchased section. Our conversation moved on from there and we haven’t spoken about it since but it has been bugging me so much since and quite frankly creeping me out. Even our conversation since it happened (1 week ago or so) have been vague, blunt and we haven’t arranged to meet up, have sex or hang out as usual. I’m wondering if this is a cause for concern, I approached it wrong or If i’m just over thinking the whole thing? Please please advise on what I should do or say? Thank you x
24. September 2017
Hey hun, I think your man is gay and he’s not being honest to himself. Why would a friend or colleague download an app for men who are gay? It’s a bogus story and you need to have another conversation with him about it.
Oloni
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