Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, I’m 22 years old and I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve only been 1 situationship. I want a GOOD friend with benefits because relationships these days are overrated. I haven’t had sex since February and I’m feeling more erotically charged since then. Any advice? 26. November 2017

Sex is literally everywhere. Join a dating app, get to know someone and over time let them know what you’re interested in. Get tested too and please always use condoms and ask about their last sexual health check.

Oloni

Hi oloni, I’ve got a questions and it is. When I’m masturbasting I can get myself off pretty quick but when I’m being intimate with another person I’ve only ever cummed once and that’s is by thinking of porn and it was with another girl. But the guy will get me wet and then I end up faking cause I get bored. I’ve communicated what I like and I still can’t get there. So my question is, does this happen to anyone else or do I have a problem. IM A GIRL TO MAKE IT CLEAR. Would like the TL to chip in aswell! 15. November 2017

You can get yourself off, because it’s your body and you’ve studied it. I’m sure there’s research which show that women rarely climax through penetrative sex. So calm down lol, you’re not the only one! I do have a couple questions though, when you’re masturbating is it through clitoral on vaginal play? A lot of women cum through clitoral play some both. Work out how you reach your orgasm and try adding that to your sex life. Also, sex toys and longer foreplay does wonders.

No seriously. Wonders.

Good luck

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I’m in a relationship but lately I’ve been finding myself being attracted to someone else. We see each other in social settings and I’ve always had a soft spot for him. Do I tell him just to get it out of my system? 15. November 2017

It’s normal to find other people attraactive, but why would you want to tell him… unless you’re trying to pursue something with him?

You’re in a relationship, but ask yourself if you’re truly happy in your commitment sis.

Oloni

Dear Oloni Now I’m not one to bring my relationship issues out like but honestly Oloni I don’t what to do. So basically I’m in my second year of uni and I have an essay to write, but my laptop is in repair so my boyfriend let me borrow his… so here’s my issue, so I’m working and in the notifications of my boyfriends MacBook I see Dropbox pop up and it says “Wank bank updated” so me being nosey I “accidentally” clicked it and God give me strength Oloni this boy has a folder full of his ex. Nudes, sexy selfies and videos. I don’t know if I should ask him about it or if I should just pretend as if everything is cool. Like Oloni, a whole folder… what do I do? 15. November 2017

“Wank bank” woah lol. Yeah, I’d say talk to him about it, if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s normal to have memories with past lovers, even if they’re both naked. He might even get rid of it.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, My boyfriend is an emotional abuser. I suffer with depression and after weeks of trying to hide it I finally told him. He pretended to care for approximately the work day then proceeded to tell me “you’re just in a mood” “I’ve tried to be sympathetic but you make it so hard”. He hadn’t had a job for some time (we’re talking years) & I was supporting him. Now he has a job and prospects in ‘the industry’ he keeps saying to me don’t leave cos another girl will be spoiled and have all you worked for. I am so unhappy but he made me loose my friends over the years. I feel so alone. I want to be happy but I am so scared to leace, especially as he says he will stalk me and hurt any man he finds me with in the future. He jokes abiut killing me if I were to ever move on. I know the obvious answer is leave, its just so much harder in practise especially when I have nobody else. 15. November 2017

I’m honestly so sorry to hear what you’re going through. What he’s making you experience is very sick and extremely unhealthy. I know it’s easier said than done, but being alone is far better than being with such a monster. The longer you spend in this relationship, the harder it will become to leave. Do you have any close family members that you could possibly talk to? I’d also advise seeing a therapist, someone more skilled than I am, especially as you’re going through depression.

Here’s a link: https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/counsellors-and-therapists.aspx

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