Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
My boyfriend has owed me £250 since July. I lent the money to him when he was in between jobs, he got one a couple of weeks later and never brought up repayment. So much times passed even I forget sometimes. I brought it up once and he said he could pay it all in a lump sum, I didn’t even ask him why, I suggested partial payments of £50 up until £250 and he refused saying that he wants to give it to me all at once. He’ll always say things like “I love how you Always have my back” so I feel guilty for even wanting it back, I sometimes feel like it is my role as his girlfriend. Recently I have really needed that money and i’m not sure how to ask or bring it up. Do you have any tips about the whole situation and how I can get my money back please?
29. November 2017
You have to talk to him about it and tell him straight. ‘I need my money back’. It’s annoying when you have to make money the topic of conversation between you and someone you care for, but it has to be done. You can’t continuously have his ‘back’ if he’s unable to stay true to his word.
Oloni
Hello Oloni, I’ve been talking to a guy since August and we have met up a few times, been intimate, gone on loads of dates… hes met my mum and sisters and i have met his parents and all his friends. We were talking about christmas and he tells me that his ex will be coming to his house for xmas because her mum and his mum are really good friends now, after they met during their 3 year relationship. They ended on ‘OK’ terms… ut i dont know how i feel about them sending xmas together. they only broke up in april/may… Do i have the right to be paranoid?
28. November 2017
Yes you do. You should have a conversation with him and state what’s going through your mind and how it makes you feel.
Surely he must see why this is weird? What if he lands under a mistletoe? No no no.
I know you’re not officially dating, but this is still uncomfortable.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I feel like my girl has a wondering eye and I don’t like it, not one bit. Whenever we are out her eyes always seem to land on guys and this proper stresses me. Whenever I ask her about it she says it’s nothing and it’s in my head. I feel like what concerns me is that she’s told me how she used to cheat in her previous relationships and I myself was cheated on by my ex but she says she was emotionally broken back then and she changed now but it still bugs me. Once she smiled at a man when we were at a restaurant and she said he was her old work colleague but when I asked his name she said she doesn’t remember his name. She’s a solid 10/10 and she’s otherwise perfect. Do you think I’m overreacting? I’m not trying to get played again because my confidence was shattered when my ex cheated on me.
28. November 2017
Heya, it’s so important to make sure that before getting into a new relationship you don’t allow what happened in the past, to have any influence on your new relationship.
It could be all in your head, or it could turn out she’s being very inappropriate. Talk to her and explain how you feel.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, this dilemma is so weird I didn’t even tell my friends because they’d probably just say I’m really lucky, but it’s really messing me up. So I started talking to this girl and everything was cool and we ended up having sex after meeting a couple times. It was great whilst it lasted but I noticed every other time we met up she would tell me to come over we have sex and would kick me out before morning. Other times she was all lovey and acted like the girlfriend I never had and was really cute. I didn’t mind at the start as I wasn’t that interested but We did this for 2 months and I started developing feelings for her. I would try speak to her more and try meet up more but Some nights she would still, however, just call me for dick and kick me out which was really bugging me. I’m not really a social media person but I started stalking her on Facebook and was shocked to find out she had an identical twin sister and she never brought it up in conversations. Like they looked like mirror images of each other and they live together. Yet every time I went over I never saw her sister. Then it dawned on me that I think I’ve been fucking both of them. I can’t even tell the difference between them and it’s freaking me out. It explains the 2 different personalities and how she would act so different every other time I saw her. Most guys would feel content but I genuinely feel violated. Almost like I’ve been raped or something. I don’t even know what to do in this situation it’s so hard to explain but it’s really been messing me up for some reason. Any advice?
26. November 2017
Wow!
That is actually crazy. And if you are being intimate with someone else who isn’t who you thought they were, that is definitely rape.
It’s such a tricky one, because how do you prove it’s been two different women? I would say you should definitely try to get a confession out of her. If it turns out you’re right, go to the police and report it. That’s dangerous.?
If you’re wrong, I think it’d be best, you stopped having sex with this girl as it’s clear the mood swings she has are clearly giving you mixed signals. I really do hope you’ve been sleeping with the same person. Feel free to come back and update.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, you probably have answered this lots but I have a boyfriend and I absolutely adore that boy, I actually think I will spend the rest of my life with him but (i hate buts theres always a but) there’s this boy, younger than me by only two years, has caught my eye. We hang out quite a lot because of the same activity we do and mutual friends. He is a fun and sweet guy, and I think I’m attracted to him. What should I do? Should I do something about it or do nothing at all? I dont want to break up with my boyfriend but I am afraid I’ll regret it if I just leave it like that
26. November 2017
Perhaps you don’t want to be with your boyfriend as much as you think you do. Just remember the 80/20 ruke. The grass isn’t always greener.
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