Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
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Sorry, I fell asleep
Oloni, i’ve been speaking to this guy, and we’ve met once. But whenever he asks to meet me, he always wants to be indoors, and he always wants to come to my house, which is out of question for me, so it never happens. I don’t know what way to take this, because the way I see it, he wants to be behind closed doors so he can engage in something sexually, and I don’t want this since everything is still fresh. What should I do?
3. January 2018
Last week you gave me some really sound advice about the guy I was seeing who rapped his own song lyrics in my ear. I forgot to mention that on that particular occasion we didn’t use protection and I was forced to pay £30 for the morning after pill. I was so panicked because I just thought i was pregnant. Anyway I came on my period and I let him in on the good news. He responded with ‘oh that’s kl’ followed by a link to his latest music video so I have officially deaded everything with him. Thank you for helping me see the light. Also this is a completely true story only stuff like this could ever happen to me lol
3. January 2018
Lol wow! He’s very interesting.
Oloni
Hey, Is it cheating if my man adds an attractive girl on snapchat who he isn’t friends with, just to watch her snaps? Because that’s how he justifies adding random ladies he finds attractive but if he has me, why isn’t that enough to look at? I send him snaps, nudes, photos, you name it, so I’m really struggling to understand his reasoning and debating if my relationship should end because of it 🙁 Please Oloni, what would you advise that I do?
3. January 2018
If it bothers you, tell him. It’s weird to add random girls on snapchat unless they’re celebrities I guess. How would he feel if you added random men?
I feel like SC is such an intimate social media platform too.
Talk to him and explain why it makes you feel uneasy.
And to answer your question, it’s not cheating, yet.
Hey Oloni, firstly I don’t want to be giving you my problems without expressing how grateful I am for your platform because you’re awesome! Now onto my dilemma: my boyfriend is divorced but he recently changed his WhatsApp display photo, and it was him at his wedding. He was alone in the photo and I’m assuming it might be because he thinks he looked good/suited and booted, but I’m wondering why he shared that photo? I’ve been concerned that he’s not over his ex wife so seeing that photo has made me think. Even if I ask, my boyfriend insists that he’s moved on but this photo makes me think otherwise. Am I overreacting?
26. December 2017
Thank you for writing in. I’ll be real with you, it’s just a nice photo of himself that he likes. He’s not separated from his exwife, he’s signed papers and agreed to leave a relationship that was once witnessed by many. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
I think deep down you might dislike the fact he was once married, so because of that, you’re projecting your own insecurities on to him.
Oloni
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My man gave me chlamydia from cheating with a girl we both know. We’ve been together for a year so I’ve chosen to forgive him and move forward. I’m struggling more with the chlamydia part rather than the act of him having sex with someone else. I saw your recent posts on sexual health and wanted to know if you had any tips on how I can protect myself better in the future and how often so should go for checks? Also will I be able to have children normally?
26. December 2017
I just want to say, whoever you are, I appreciate you for asking this question, because it never happens.
An obvious must, is condoms during vaginal penetration, anal play and oral pleasure. People seem to forget, or perhaps just don’t know that you can still pass on STI’s through oral sex. Try using water based lube with condoms too.
It’s important to get a check up every 3 months, especially if you’re in a relationship and your partner has put you at risk before. Talk to your sexual health nurse more if you have any other questions.
Also, there is a chance that an STI can cause infertility problems. In some cases what happens is that due to some sexual infections being asymptomatic, some women don’t pick up early on the signs that they’ve been infected, (which is exactly why getting check ups are important) because there’s a huge chance that if it goes untreated for a long time, it can lead it scarring that makes it either hard for you to have children, or completely stops you from being able to procreate.
Check out my latest video on sexual health here.
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