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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Dear oloni how soon after having my baby do I owe my partner sex? It’s been 3 weeks since I had a healthy new born baby and my sex drive is on 0 which is really frustrating my partner. I understand he’s the head of the house but he wasn’t present for 2/3 trimester of my pregnancy and I haven’t been with anyone during that time, so he needs to understand that I haven’t had sex in so long and cannot do it on demand now that he’s back. But I really don’t want him to stray again so I’ve been trying to get my sex drive up but just end up feeling nauseated. A) Is this normal? B) How can I increase my sex drive/’turn it on in the bedroom post birth? 8. January 2018

Hey love it’s actually recommended to wait 6 weeks. But most importantly, you should only having sex when YOU’RE comfortable and ready. Your partners sexual satisfaction doesn’t come before your health.

If he’s making you feel uncomfortable a discussion needs to happen. He should be supportive during this time and if I’m honest, rubbing your feet, not having you here complaining.

Congratulations on your new born!

Oloni

Hey Oloni. A girl posted a list of everyone I had sex with in Uni on twitter to humiliate me and several people from my Uni saw. I feel like the incident labelled me permanently as a hoe as many people from London to other Uni’s saw and still talk about it till this day. My dilemma is that men have nevet treated me well since, just using me for sex and seeing me as nothing more than a situationship at best or a “hidden girlfriend” because he’s too embarrassed to be seen with me. I am so tired of this label and what it has caused for my relationships with men and how I view myself. How can I make men see me differently and not just sexually or be blinded by my body count so expect me to hit? I’m considering changing my whole look and name but wanted to know if there was anything less drastic I can do first? 8. January 2018

Hey! Thanks for writing in. I’m sorry you had to go through being slutshamed. It’s disgusting that people are still putting women down for how they choose to have sex. It’s immature and just plain stupid.

I don’t think you should change anything about yourself personally, any guy who makes you feel like less, is not a guy you should be with. The right guy will come along, just be yourself and patient.

Oloni

I’ve had a really rotten smell like expired milk come from my vagina for about 2 months now and I’ve tried every remedy you can think of but it’s like the smell just gets stronger. It’s so embarrassing because I don’t even want to be around people as I start to smell it through my jeans or trousers at work or in public. The discharge is like the colour of cum/milky and I don’t know if this is normal? The smell is ruining my life and becoming unbearable, I haven’t had sex in months! What can I do?? 8. January 2018

Hey hun, why haven’t you seen a doctor yet? You’ve had two months to do so. Quickly arrange an appointment.

Oloni

My boyfriend cheated on me numerous times last year. He claims it’s because my Vagina smells, I treated myself( he helped) but I’m not sure it’s entirely because of that reason he cheated. Should I still go on? 8. January 2018

No, hell no, you’re not settling for this. He used your insecurity to cheat on you? That’s not how relationships work.

Throw the whole man away.

Oloni

My boyfriend is making me hide from my friend that her man has another girl pregnant in another city. My boyfriend is good friends with him and it is through him that my close friend met her now boyfriend. Everything was going well, double dates the lot, until I overheard my boyfriends conversation with my friends man about how he has impregnated a younger girl who he cheated with when he went away for “football tournaments”. I was annoyed with my boyfriend for not telling me but that’s been addressed and I understand the position he was in. However, now I’m in an awkward position because I really want to tell my friend to protect her but my boyfriend has sworn me to secrecy. I don’t want to jeopardise my relationship with either of them so I’m not sure what the best way is to deal with this is? Please help 7. January 2018

 

 

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