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Hey Oloni… Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 8 months but we’ve been friends for almost 4 years prior to us dating… I wasn’t in his group of friends but I was really close to him and a friend and all and there were always feelings between us. Anyway since we started dating two of the female friends in his group of friends do provocative stuff and make me feel uncomfortable and when my boyfriend sets obvious boundaries they’re offended and claim they’re more important than me because they were his friends first (they’ve been hanging out for two years so that statement alone is a reach)… I just don’t really know how to deal with it I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to be in bad blood with his friends because of me but I also want my relationship and the boundaries my boyfriend and I set respected
30. January 2018
Well it sounds like your boyfriend has already done plan A. Which is talking to them, but now it might be time for plan B, distancing himself. His friends don’t respect you as his girlfriend, so it’s only right he backs away from them. True friends wouldn’t behave like that. Talk to him further and tell him how you feel.
Oloni
Hi oloni. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years we’ve have our ups and downs with his faithfulness. In previous months when I’d go to work I’d go back home and see on my history omegle chats and sex chats, and he’d always deny it was him, when it blatantly was. Same thing happened recently and it’s something I cba to even bring up because I know he will deny it but I’m also thinking is this a massive red flag because it’s not exactly innocent if he would hide it, and we’re moving in together soon so I don’t want to go through any more disloyalty
27. January 2018
You shouldn’t be moving in together, there’s clearly some issues you both need to sort out.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, fingers crossed you reply to this one! About 4 months into the friendship with my best friend at uni I told him I had feelings for him. He wasn’t over his ex at the time and said I meant the world to him but as we were going to be housemates the next year he said we couldn’t be anything. Our sexual chemistry is insane however so we ended up sleeping together a week later. 2 years on and we’ve been sleeping together the whole time. It’s been rocky as hell at times and he still says he wants nothing with me, but as he is my best friend and we haven’t succeeded in stopping sleeping together (boy have we tried) it’s just impossible for me to not have feelings for him. His family and all of his and our friends (even strangers) are all shocked we aren’t together. But regardless – what do I do? How do I get out of this headspace? I don’t want to lose him from my life and we are so codependent he wouldn’t let me if I tried, but him trying to meet other girls is eating away at me. Much appreciated!
27. January 2018
Heya, you’ve both gone somewhere you shouldn’t have, especially after you admitted you wanted to be with him romantically. This is the reason your feelings are growing stronger.
I would suggest taking a break from this friendship because it will become even harder for you, if you continue it. He’s already said he doesn’t want to be with you, regardless of how many times you have sex, so you’re only creating more problems for yourself.
Spend time away with friends, making new friends, finding a new love interest.
Oloni
Hi oloni, hope you’re well. My boyfriend is an amazing man, he had to pick up a lot of responsibilities when his father passed as he is the eldest of 6 siblings who are still really young. He once told me he had dreams of doing music but I never heard him say it again. I was snooping through his phone and his notes app has loads of lyrics for songs written on it and they looked really impressive. He writes a new track maybe once a week and he’s an awesome lyricist. He doesn’t know I snoop and I feel like I invaded his privacy but I really want to help motivate and push him towards this. What do I do?
18. January 2018
Oh darling, you must learn not to invade peoples privacy, it’s not right.
Moving on, tell him what you saw and explain how much you believe in him. Hopefully he’ll look past you snooping.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, so to keep it short my best friend cheated on her boyfriend. I feel some type of way about it because I was cheated on by my ex throughout my pregnancy in which I gave birth to still born twins. It ruined me inside and she was there for all of it, I know I shouldn’t reflect what happened to me onto her, but she knows how I feel about cheating. Can you give me some advice?
18. January 2018
Hey love, I’m really sorry to hear about what you went through.
In regards to your friend, what you feel is perfectly understandable and if it makes you uncomfortable, explain that to her ask that she doesn’t tell you about any encounters she has with people outside of her relationship.
It’s okay to say, “I don’t support what you’re doing, so I’d prefer not to discuss this”
Oloni
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