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Sorry, I fell asleep
So, there’s this guy who I became friends with last year and he’s basically the sweetest person ever. He constantly doing little things that matter not just for me but for my friends too. The thing is he has never so much as mentioned that he wanted a relationship with me or anything but then I recently realized that I have feelings for him. Now I am considering talking to him and asking him if we have a future together, but then I’ve been over thinking what if he doesn’t have feelings for me and I make things awkward? Anyway what do you suggest I do? Talk to him or remain quiet?
5. January 2018
How about asking him out on a date first?
Oloni
So I’ve I started dating this guy and he doesn’t know I’ve done porn before. I’ve left that industry but it still haunts me. I really really like him but every time I’ve entered into a relationship with someone they’ve found out my old videos and told the guy. I feel like I may have found the one, what do I do?
5. January 2018
Hey hun! Thanks for writing in, I can see why you’re worried, especially since we still live in a society that still slutshames women heavily.
The best thing you can do is tell him, because if it’s already out there, there’s a huge chance he too will come across it. I don’t think you should allow it to haunt you either, you did porn because you felt comfortable doing it and hopefully empowered too.
I have friends in the porn industry who are in happy relationships, so I don’t want you feel like you’re not capable of finding someone who will accept you, for who you are.
Oloni
im gay as FUCK but im black and christian lmao… my parents are super religious always at church etc… but basically i was at church on sunday and met a peng guy, anyway short story short we ended up suckin each other in church umm yep, what tf do i do lmao
5. January 2018
LOL sounds lit.
Just messing, exactly what is your dilemma? Is it to do with your parents and your sexuality, or the fact that you’ve met someone?
Oloni
Dated a guy briefly 5 years ago, reconnected as friends in the last few months. No romantic feelings on either end. But in the 5 years he has a new good friend, and he and I definitely have chemistry. He’s friended me on just about everything, we matched on tinder, and we can text for hours on end. Should I ask him out? I think he may be holding back out of some weirdness about his best friend having dated me way back when.
4. January 2018
Ask him out for drinks during the weekend, there’s def something there.
Good luck. I hope everything works out well.
Oloni
Hey Oloni , I’ve come to conclusion that I’m cursed. I’ve never been in a long term relationship that’s only because I’m only ever a fantasy.. sounds crazy but I’ve been going through this for ever and I’m sick of it. I feel as if as if men lose on all composure when around me and honestly it’s no fault of my own I’ve tried to limit my personality, I’ve tried to dress in clothes I don’t even like so that I ‘don’t draw unwanted attention’ but it just doesn’t work and I feel like I’m losing myself because the men I have around can’t seem to help themselves. This isn’t me being big headed I promise you I never asked for any of it and it’s it’s breaking me. I’ve had friends boyfriends trying it on with me repeatedly, friends dads pinning me down and touching me inappropriately, male friends who I’ve been friends for years with helping them selves to my body when in Intoxicated. I can mention so much more occasions , I’m so sick of it I honestly want it all to stop. All the men in my life that I have felt have genuinely cared for me as a friend or just as an individual has forced themselves onto me in some way or another. I’ve tried everything Oloni what advise could you give me ? If I let anyone know about all this I’ll get told it’s my fault.
3. January 2018
You’re not cursed my dear, you’ve been put in some awful positions, but you’re not cursed.
I’m sorry that you’ve been around men who have abused your trust. It’s disappointing and these men should be reported. You should never feel like it’s your fault, and I hope you understand that. You shouldn’t even have to change the way you dress in order for you to demand respect.
What I would suggest is seeing a therapist and perhaps changing the people you’ve surrounded yourself with recently.
It’s the new year and YOU deserve a fresh start. It’s sad that these awful men have tried to take advantage of you, nobody should have to go through such a situation.
**Meet potential love interests by going out to different social gatherings, try dating apps, start a conversation first with someone you find attractive over social media via DM.
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