Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
Grab a copy of The Big O: An empowering guide to loving, dating and f**king
——————————————————————————-
Hi Oloni. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months. I’m the first girl he’s properly dated he’s never been in a relationship before, just situationships. Anyways on New Years I really wanted to spend the night with him but he told me he’s going home to spend it with his boys. But I found out that he’s messaged this girl asking her what her plans was on that day. The next day he asked to hang out with her but she’s like she’s alone at hers and she knows that he’s in a relationship so it’s better to hang out with a group of people. I know all this because I went through his phone, I felt something was off when he came back. Is there anything I should be worried about? I don’t get why he’s asking another girl to hang out with him alone, or asking what she’s doing on New Years knowing I wanted to spend the night with him.
3. January 2018
I’ll be real with you, he probably slept with this girl and cheated, you know it and I know it. His intentions are very obvious and I think that due to your love goggles, you’re unable to see it, for what it clearly is, but that’s fine… that’s what I’m here for.
Tell him what you saw and confron him asap. Regardless of what he says, I thik you should dump him, the fact he was with another girl in such a setting and on that type of day, just shows he’s not prepared to be exclusive to you. He’s an asshole.
Oloni
Hey oloni girl. I’m in a relationship with a man, have been for the last year although he has been in prison for around 9 month now. We speak on the phone a lot but I haven’t seen him since yet his child’s mother is there every week, sometimes more then once a week and even sometimes without their child! Normally I wouldn’t be so suspicious but after reading the dilemma you posted about the guy leaving for his baby mother I’m now a bit concerned. I done a little stalking and found his bm has a NEW tattoo of his name. When I asked him about that he told me they’re ‘bonded’ for life and I should chill which wasn’t the response I was looking for lol I’m starting to think I should forget the whole thing but I do genuinely love him?? I’m confused. And have been losing sleep.
3. January 2018
Okay, are you being forreal? You’re worried about a guy who has to pee in front of other people?? The complaining about his baby mothers new tattoo on the 3rd day of the new year? Out of the goodness
of my heart, I am going to let you restart this year, so you can not only rethink this “dilemma”, but for you to also come up with a new years resolution, because this aint even it, not even close to it.
How are you letting this guy jail talk you, when he’s clearly with another woman? There are millions of other men out there who aren’t locked up, pick one.
Oloni
Oloni, i’ve been speaking to this guy, and we’ve met once. But whenever he asks to meet me, he always wants to be indoors, and he always wants to come to my house, which is out of question for me, so it never happens. I don’t know what way to take this, because the way I see it, he wants to be behind closed doors so he can engage in something sexually, and I don’t want this since everything is still fresh. What should I do?
3. January 2018
Last week you gave me some really sound advice about the guy I was seeing who rapped his own song lyrics in my ear. I forgot to mention that on that particular occasion we didn’t use protection and I was forced to pay £30 for the morning after pill. I was so panicked because I just thought i was pregnant. Anyway I came on my period and I let him in on the good news. He responded with ‘oh that’s kl’ followed by a link to his latest music video so I have officially deaded everything with him. Thank you for helping me see the light. Also this is a completely true story only stuff like this could ever happen to me lol
3. January 2018
Lol wow! He’s very interesting.
Oloni
Hey, Is it cheating if my man adds an attractive girl on snapchat who he isn’t friends with, just to watch her snaps? Because that’s how he justifies adding random ladies he finds attractive but if he has me, why isn’t that enough to look at? I send him snaps, nudes, photos, you name it, so I’m really struggling to understand his reasoning and debating if my relationship should end because of it 🙁 Please Oloni, what would you advise that I do?
3. January 2018
If it bothers you, tell him. It’s weird to add random girls on snapchat unless they’re celebrities I guess. How would he feel if you added random men?
I feel like SC is such an intimate social media platform too.
Talk to him and explain why it makes you feel uneasy.
And to answer your question, it’s not cheating, yet.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!