Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, fingers crossed you reply to this one! About 4 months into the friendship with my best friend at uni I told him I had feelings for him. He wasn’t over his ex at the time and said I meant the world to him but as we were going to be housemates the next year he said we couldn’t be anything. Our sexual chemistry is insane however so we ended up sleeping together a week later. 2 years on and we’ve been sleeping together the whole time. It’s been rocky as hell at times and he still says he wants nothing with me, but as he is my best friend and we haven’t succeeded in stopping sleeping together (boy have we tried) it’s just impossible for me to not have feelings for him. His family and all of his and our friends (even strangers) are all shocked we aren’t together. But regardless – what do I do? How do I get out of this headspace? I don’t want to lose him from my life and we are so codependent he wouldn’t let me if I tried, but him trying to meet other girls is eating away at me. Much appreciated!
27. January 2018
Heya, you’ve both gone somewhere you shouldn’t have, especially after you admitted you wanted to be with him romantically. This is the reason your feelings are growing stronger.
I would suggest taking a break from this friendship because it will become even harder for you, if you continue it. He’s already said he doesn’t want to be with you, regardless of how many times you have sex, so you’re only creating more problems for yourself.
Spend time away with friends, making new friends, finding a new love interest.
Oloni
Hi oloni, hope you’re well. My boyfriend is an amazing man, he had to pick up a lot of responsibilities when his father passed as he is the eldest of 6 siblings who are still really young. He once told me he had dreams of doing music but I never heard him say it again. I was snooping through his phone and his notes app has loads of lyrics for songs written on it and they looked really impressive. He writes a new track maybe once a week and he’s an awesome lyricist. He doesn’t know I snoop and I feel like I invaded his privacy but I really want to help motivate and push him towards this. What do I do?
18. January 2018
Oh darling, you must learn not to invade peoples privacy, it’s not right.
Moving on, tell him what you saw and explain how much you believe in him. Hopefully he’ll look past you snooping.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, so to keep it short my best friend cheated on her boyfriend. I feel some type of way about it because I was cheated on by my ex throughout my pregnancy in which I gave birth to still born twins. It ruined me inside and she was there for all of it, I know I shouldn’t reflect what happened to me onto her, but she knows how I feel about cheating. Can you give me some advice?
18. January 2018
Hey love, I’m really sorry to hear about what you went through.
In regards to your friend, what you feel is perfectly understandable and if it makes you uncomfortable, explain that to her ask that she doesn’t tell you about any encounters she has with people outside of her relationship.
It’s okay to say, “I don’t support what you’re doing, so I’d prefer not to discuss this”
Oloni
hey, a guy ive been talking to has aired me for about 2 weeks. i assumed it was due to problems at home but then i googled him and saw that he’s on dating sites and found his social media. i added him on fake accounts and he added me back within an hour and i even messaged him from my fake sc and he replied. so why isnt he replying to my message i sent weeks ago? he was showing interest? should i call him or message again or is he just trash?
11. January 2018
You did wayyy too mcuh for a guy you were simply talking to, you know that right? If he hasn’t spoken to you in two weeks, he’s not interested in you.
Stop making fake accounts, to e-stalk and put yourself out there and find a new love interest.
Oloni
Hey Oloni. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I’ve recently gained a bit of weight/belly fat due to stress eating from exams and I basically stopped going to the gym. He would regularly tease me and say don’t get fat, or well break up. I recently started a diet and got back in the gym, and today I had a conversation with him where he basically told me that he has a problem with the way I eat and described it as ridiculous. Is he being a dick or am I being sensitive?
11. January 2018
It really depends on the delivery of how he said it, did he straight say “yo, the way you eat is ridiculous” or was it, “I’m worried about you and think you should try to be careful with your eating habits”.
Either way, it’s very clear you’re offeneded, talk to him about it.
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