Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hello. I’ve been dating this guy for a few months. We’ve met eachother’s family and friends, we go church together and have also travelled. However he is not romantic. I am a lover girl and not the materialistic type (even though there’s nothing wrong with that) I’m the lovey dovey type, the hopeless romantic type that gets giddy over flowers, teddy bears, chocolate and love letters. In the past I’ve found it difficult to state this as I’ve had the ‘if he wants to be will’ and ‘I don’t want to sound needy’ mindset. However as people always say- communication is key, so I’ve taken this onboard and have stated to my now partner that romance is a non negotiable trait I look for. Fast forward to now, he has asked me to be his girlfriend but with no girlfriend proposal. The way he asked was a simple sit down, held my hand and said “let’s take what we have further will you be my girlfriend”. I can’t lie, I felt underwhelmed and disappointed. He could have gotten me flowers and wrote a cute gf proposal note, or made a collection of my favorite snacks/sentimental gifts to show he listens, or had ‘will you be my gf ?’ on a desert plate at a dinner date. But no, just a sit down. I said to him as much as I am falling in love and see a future with him I find it hard to accept being his girlfriend as he has not put any thought to asking and since we’ve been dating the only romantic gesture he’s done is buy me flowers once or twice to which he said his romantic side will come once I’m his girl and he knows me better. I am still skeptical about being his girl however I am at the stage where I’ve realised there aren’t many good guys in the world and personality and looks wise he ticks soo many boxes so would sacrificing romance be a big deal? My friends and family have said I’m over reacting and that I’ve dated romantic guys in the past that have done up flowers and sentimental love notes and that didn’t last, so compromises need to be made as no one’s perfect. What are your views on this ? Am I over reacting for not receiving a gf proposal? Are men able to grow in romance after some time?
8. September 2023
You want what you want and that’s fine. I honestly think it’s only starting to become a bit more common that we see super romantic gestures when asked to be someones gf/bf. Maybe I’m wrong, but you could express again that romance is a non-negotioable for you and give him other opportunities to cater to it. This might look like a random day after work where he surprises you with flowers, a birthday, any special occasion. but do communicate and see if he listens.
Oloni
Hey oloni, I need tips on pegging it’ll be my first time as well as his,
8. September 2023
Lots of lube and get him to clean really well. Also start off with a lot of foreplay, smaller toys, then work your way to the main event. Enjoy 😉
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I need some advice please. I’m currently pregnant the dad has now stated he wants nothing to do with it, he called me evil & told me not to contact him again. I will respect what his asking & I won’t be contacting him again. I will raise my baby to my best ability. My question is do u block him on the phone & live my life without him or do I keep his number in case one day he wants to reach out? His been so rude to me since finding out & because I won’t have an abortion. His removed me off social media, but at kept me on WhatsApp as he said that’s all the communication we need. Since then his told me not to contact him. How do I go about this?. As I don’t want to have false hope one day he will reach out. Thanks
8. September 2023
hey hun we answer this on next weeks Laid Bare podcast. But I think you need to surround yourself with family and friends who can be there for you. he’s allowed to express what he’d prefer regarding the pregnancy, but ultimately it is YOUR choice and yours alone. Fuck him. If he doesn’t want you to contact him, then don’t. I would suggest speaking to a family member of his after the birth, via phone call to let them know so maybe someone can hold him accountable (if they do) it’s such a tough one, so really think about your decision.
Oloni
Why don’t you answer dilemmas but keep asking people to pour out their business to you expecting a reply…?
7. July 2023
Because we answer them on Laid Bare Podcast.
Oloni
Good day Oloni. I’ve been w/ this man for almost 3 years now. He does everything for me, put me in one of his houses, got me a car and working on my business plus he put me into school. We do everything together including going to church, but we never had sex. He always says no, everytime I bring it up he ignores or changes the topic.
9. May 2023
Hey have a conversation with him and ask!! Say, “is there a reason why we haven’t been physical?”
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