Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
hi Oloni, i feel i’m no longer attracted to my bf. when he have sex i think of other people i’ve slept with. i love him so much but i feel as a couple im just not as excited anymore. we don’t really have as much fun as we used to & idk im just in an era where i wanna try new things, experience new people & connections. i’m 21 turning 22 and i just feel like this is all too soon for me to be in a serious relationship & i don’t wanna get 4 years down the line & feel like i missed out on my youth. Theirs is great joy in a relationship especially in our generation, he’s such a good egg & i cherish him. but i don’t wanna force it and force my feelings just for the sake of that. but at the same time part of me just doesn’t want to lose such a great person. i’m conflicted. i’m in uni & im going into my third yr & i honestly just want to also have some fun without any consequences of hitting someone else’s feelings. i want to get my career in check, finish all my education ( i plan on doing a masters etc) before i get serious w a man. i want to build the life i want before i let someone else join me as well as have kids etc, he’s 24 turning 25 & he’s thinking marriage/engagement in like 3 years. im not on it idk what to do
17. August 2024
Heya! Bless you. Honestly continue to stay true to yourself and do what you feel in your head. Sometimes love means loving someone from afar. Who knows where you’ll both be in the future?
Oloni
So Oloni, my bf loves to give me head but I don’t really enjoy head, I preferred to be fingered. But it turns him on so I oblige, but recently I’ve noticed when he gives me head I get a yeast infection, it’s the reason I don’t like head, happens to me w everyone I’ve ever gotten head from, their oral yeast I guess upsets the balance of my vaginal micro flora, every time he gives me head I get a mild yeast infection, it goes away on its own and I try to put gaps between when I receive, sometimes we go back to back if of the duration is long, I get a yeast infection in like two days. Idk if I’m doing something wrong, it feels like a me issue because we’re exclusive and it’s not just w him it has happened in the past in other relationships. The issue now is idk how to tell him that he has to stop cause it’s the one thing he loves the most but I can’t enjoy it cause I keep thinking about how in two days the itching gonna start. I recently treated one infection and I know he’s gonna ask soon again. What do I do? I love this man and I know he loves me so much but it makes me feel slightly inadequate to not be able to give him something he obviously loves so much. Idk if it’s technique or something else but I’ve done and checked everything but it only happens after head and I’ve never met anyone w similar experiences, please help.
17. August 2024
Hey aww bless you. Listen, if it’s causing your body to react, then you listen to your body and you let him know. I will say though, try seeing a sexual health nurse/professional who could probably help figure out why you keep getting yeast infections and if there’s a way this can be helped/stopped.
Good luck and thanks for sharing your dilemma. I think this might actually help a lot of people.
Oloni
Hi Oloni! So I’m a 33 year old bisexual babe (I’m not out but recently accepted my sexuality). I’m desperate to explore my sexuality with other black queer babes! I’ve been such a ‘good girl’ for most of my life but I’m ready for a hoe phase, I even want to go to a sex party. All my friends are married with kids and very traditional. Basically I’m very much a lone solider these days and I’m in need of a new community of sexy queer babes who want to live life on the edge lol. Please help! ❤️❤️
17. August 2024
Heya! Get on the apps, find queer spaces and events to go to. There’s plenty of online communities too. Good luck on your self discovery.
Oloni
Hello Oloni, I am Chisom, I know you told us to keep it short but this will be kinda long. And to the readers, I know you are going to judge me, but it’s okay I deserve it. All insults are welcome. So in 2021, I met Adewale a neighbor here in Lagos he actually operated a POS business at that time and I needed to withdraw money at that time and I saw a sign post at his gate and rushed in. Adewale stays with his girlfriend and brother Adebayo. So I got to meet them and we became friends. They had just moved into the neighborhood. So here’s the thing, Adewale started hitting on me despite having a girlfriend, he did it for a month and I finally gave in because he was handsome and I honestly couldn’t resist any longer. So we started regularly having sex till two months ago when I decided to cut ties with him. We had sex once in a while sometimes at his home when his girlfriend or brother has gone to work, or sometimes at my place. Here comes another problem, Adebayo also starts hitting on me, Adebayo is the opposite of Adewale, he’s sweet, caring, he’s everything I wanted in a man, though he is not as good looking as his brother, but I liked him. So I also gave in to his advances and we started having sex once in a while till.last year when I stopped because I was feeling guilty. So here’s the thing, Adebayo is totally obsessed with me, like too obsessed, he wants to be with me and I also want to but i just can’t, because I’ve already slept with both brothers, so if i date him, Adewale will find out that I have been sleeping with his brother. The thing is I want to be with Adebayo because he seems like a decent guy, and is always there for me, but because of this whole situation I can’t, and he always asks me why I don’t want to be with him, how do I start telling him that I have been sleeping with both of them? I just want to relocate from Lagos to Abuja now because of this whole situation.
17. August 2024
Girl, you’re going to have to tell him and come clean. Are you SURE his brother isn’t aware?? I don’t think this requires you to relocate. People make ad choices all the time.
Oloni
Hey! I’ve been with my man for 5 years and the spark in all aspects has been lost. Have you got any advice on what I can do to bring this back, in sexual and non sexual ways. All my love a loyal listener x
17. August 2024
Non sexual ways plan an unusual date night. Something out of the ordinary where you’re able to create new experiences together. Sexual way it depends on what’s lacking to be honest, but read up on sexual currency in my book.
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