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So Oloni, my bf loves to give me head but I don’t really enjoy head, I preferred to be fingered. But it turns him on so I oblige, but recently I’ve noticed when he gives me head I get a yeast infection, it’s the reason I don’t like head, happens to me w everyone I’ve ever gotten head from, their oral yeast I guess upsets the balance of my vaginal micro flora, every time he gives me head I get a mild yeast infection, it goes away on its own and I try to put gaps between when I receive, sometimes we go back to back if of the duration is long, I get a yeast infection in like two days. Idk if I’m doing something wrong, it feels like a me issue because we’re exclusive and it’s not just w him it has happened in the past in other relationships. The issue now is idk how to tell him that he has to stop cause it’s the one thing he loves the most but I can’t enjoy it cause I keep thinking about how in two days the itching gonna start. I recently treated one infection and I know he’s gonna ask soon again. What do I do? I love this man and I know he loves me so much but it makes me feel slightly inadequate to not be able to give him something he obviously loves so much. Idk if it’s technique or something else but I’ve done and checked everything but it only happens after head and I’ve never met anyone w similar experiences, please help.
17. August 2024
Hey aww bless you. Listen, if it’s causing your body to react, then you listen to your body and you let him know. I will say though, try seeing a sexual health nurse/professional who could probably help figure out why you keep getting yeast infections and if there’s a way this can be helped/stopped.
Good luck and thanks for sharing your dilemma. I think this might actually help a lot of people.
Oloni
Hi Oloni! So I’m a 33 year old bisexual babe (I’m not out but recently accepted my sexuality). I’m desperate to explore my sexuality with other black queer babes! I’ve been such a ‘good girl’ for most of my life but I’m ready for a hoe phase, I even want to go to a sex party. All my friends are married with kids and very traditional. Basically I’m very much a lone solider these days and I’m in need of a new community of sexy queer babes who want to live life on the edge lol. Please help! ❤️❤️
17. August 2024
Heya! Get on the apps, find queer spaces and events to go to. There’s plenty of online communities too. Good luck on your self discovery.
Oloni
Hello Oloni, I am Chisom, I know you told us to keep it short but this will be kinda long. And to the readers, I know you are going to judge me, but it’s okay I deserve it. All insults are welcome. So in 2021, I met Adewale a neighbor here in Lagos he actually operated a POS business at that time and I needed to withdraw money at that time and I saw a sign post at his gate and rushed in. Adewale stays with his girlfriend and brother Adebayo. So I got to meet them and we became friends. They had just moved into the neighborhood. So here’s the thing, Adewale started hitting on me despite having a girlfriend, he did it for a month and I finally gave in because he was handsome and I honestly couldn’t resist any longer. So we started regularly having sex till two months ago when I decided to cut ties with him. We had sex once in a while sometimes at his home when his girlfriend or brother has gone to work, or sometimes at my place. Here comes another problem, Adebayo also starts hitting on me, Adebayo is the opposite of Adewale, he’s sweet, caring, he’s everything I wanted in a man, though he is not as good looking as his brother, but I liked him. So I also gave in to his advances and we started having sex once in a while till.last year when I stopped because I was feeling guilty. So here’s the thing, Adebayo is totally obsessed with me, like too obsessed, he wants to be with me and I also want to but i just can’t, because I’ve already slept with both brothers, so if i date him, Adewale will find out that I have been sleeping with his brother. The thing is I want to be with Adebayo because he seems like a decent guy, and is always there for me, but because of this whole situation I can’t, and he always asks me why I don’t want to be with him, how do I start telling him that I have been sleeping with both of them? I just want to relocate from Lagos to Abuja now because of this whole situation.
17. August 2024
Girl, you’re going to have to tell him and come clean. Are you SURE his brother isn’t aware?? I don’t think this requires you to relocate. People make ad choices all the time.
Oloni
Hey! I’ve been with my man for 5 years and the spark in all aspects has been lost. Have you got any advice on what I can do to bring this back, in sexual and non sexual ways. All my love a loyal listener x
17. August 2024
Non sexual ways plan an unusual date night. Something out of the ordinary where you’re able to create new experiences together. Sexual way it depends on what’s lacking to be honest, but read up on sexual currency in my book.
Oloni
Hi Oloni! So back in the beginning/mid august 2023, I sent a dilemma about whether or not to do long distance with a guy I met on hinge for a month before moving to the states. You expressed that I should NOT do it and that I should be looking for people in the US since I’ve moved. You did give really good advice but I decided to try out the long distance thing since I’ve never done it before and just wanted to experience it. It lasted for about 4 months and ended because the distance was hard and we were both starting things that would keep us super busy (me with grad school and him starting a new job at a hospital). He also just wasn’t a person of his word and would do things that I don’t see the person that I want to be with doing. So, my dilemma is that I’m now 24 and have not had sex yet. I still do want to be sexual and explore what things I’d like but I live in a very WHITE area of California (like I feel like I’m in the 1800s) and honestly not a single man either in real life or on the apps has caught my eye. I live close to LA and people always tell me to go there to try and meet men. I don’t say what I’m about to say for sympathy or that I’m self depreciating, but I am not exactly LA level of fine lol. The beauty standards in LA are something else and I have come to accept that my body and features don’t belong. I have a year and a bit left of grad school (I hope I’m able to move away when I’m done) and I don’t mind not doing anything for the duration of grad school. I just felt that I was moving on a good track to exploring ans getting to know myself better before I moved and I just feel like everything has been halted. I know sex and relationships are not a race but I can’t help feeling so behind. Should I just accept my fate and be alone for the foreseeable future or should I keep putting myself out there and keep trying to get what I want?
27. April 2024
Hey hope you’re well. Dating romantically or sexually can be scary but I really want you to take it easier on yourself. I really think you have to work on your confidence before seeking any sort of intimacy that includes you having to be proactive. I understand what you mean when you talk about standards but, girl so f*cking what?? Widen your search and get go to new places. Encourage a friend to be a wing man, get on the apps. You’ve got this!
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